Breaking off contact: Examples & reasons for ending contact
Breaking off contact is never easy. There are far more enjoyable things in life than telling someone you're not interested in them. Nevertheless, saying goodbye is important so that both parties can move on and look ahead. We'll show you what you need to bear in mind, how you can end contact after the first date, and why it's often a good idea to break off contact after a breakup.
Rejecting someone – how to respectfully end a relationship
Don't get your date's hopes up
As soon as you are sure that you and your online contact will not become a couple in this lifetime, please communicate this immediately and sincerely. The longer you wait, the greater the likelihood that you will hurt your dating partner.
Under no circumstances should you simply withdraw or ghost them, as this is much more hurtful than a few honest words. So always be fair and say early on if you are not interested.
Honesty is the best policy
“I'm not in the mood for dating right now.” “I still have to process something from my past.” Save yourself the clichés and worn-out excuses. Your acquaintance will notice if you come up with a standard excuse.
That's more hurtful than hearing the truth. So always be honest. Don't try to keep a back door open and string your online contact along. Be clear in your decision!
Respect and decency are required
When you reject an online contact, please be respectful. Not everyone can handle rejection well. For example, don't be derogatory or disparaging in your explanation. You are probably already hurting the other person enough by rejecting them.
Telling them that they are too fat, too demanding, or too short is simply distasteful.
Much better: show compassion and tell them that you also think it's a shame that it didn't work out between you. Feel free to mention qualities that you appreciate in them.
Remember: The old maxim applies here too: treat your counterpart the way you would like to be treated yourself.
The fact is: rejections are part of dating. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with the other person's personality, it just means you're not a good fit. One thing is clear: rejection always hurts, even if it's justified.
4 signs that you're on a bad date
You thought you'd finally met Mr. or Mrs. Right. You've been on a date or two, but somehow it doesn't feel as spectacular as you'd hoped? Basically, you should always remember that nobody is perfect. Everyone has flaws, so chasing after your ideal is pointless.
1. Boring or uninteresting conversations
Do you have a lot to talk about? That's a good sign! If, on the other hand, you don't know what to talk about on your first date and the conversation keeps breaking off, then you don't seem to be on the same wavelength.
If you didn't have these problems when chatting or talking on the phone, it may be that your date is just particularly shy or that you simply don't get along as well in real life as you had hoped.
2. There is no mutual interest
Does your date want to know everything about you and bombard you with questions? It's a clear case. He or she is definitely interested in you.
But what about you? If you don't feel the need to find out anything about your date, you should end the contact immediately. If your date asks nothing or very little, it may be due to extreme shyness. But you'll notice that.
3. Behavior
How does the person come across to you: open-minded or rather indifferent? Of course, a first date is always an exciting thing. Many people are nervous and don't know what to talk about, or unpleasant things happen to them.
But we're sure you'll be able to tell if your date isn't interested or if they just don't care that much about the encounter.
4. Gut feeling
If you're wondering whether you should end the contact, your inner voice still counts the most. Don't be afraid to listen to your inner voice. Do you feel comfortable? Or would you rather be somewhere else right now?
Can you think of another person you'd rather be sitting with right now? Are there things about your date that repel you? In any case, listen to your feelings; they are the key to your happiness.
How can you break off contact after the first date?
Breaking off contact immediately after the first date is not a pleasant task, but sometimes it just doesn't work out and it's better to be direct and honest than to give your date unnecessary hope just because you don't have the courage to say no.
You've already read about how to recognize a bad date, so we've listed a few specific examples of how you can politely and objectively end the relationship.
“Thank you very much for the really nice date, but I just didn't feel the spark, so I think it's better if we don't see each other again before false hopes arise.”
“I think you're a great person, but unfortunately, for me, it's not enough for more than friendship.”
“I think we both agree that we should leave it at one date.”
If you're really honest, you can also bring up specific topics of conversation. For example, that your interests are too different, your views, your leisure activities, etc.
How to break off contact for good
Does this sound familiar? You've tried really hard to break off contact in a nice, friendly, and good-natured way. But your contact just can't or won't understand?
Then you were either not clear enough or too nice. To finally put an end to the dilemma, here are a few clear statements on how to break off contact for good.
1. Find clear words by explaining once again very clearly why a potential relationship between you is out of the question.
2. Ask why your contact is still getting in touch and what gives them hope that something could still come of it. You can then go into more detail about their needs and explain why you are not interested.
3. End the discussion. If your counterpart is clearly speaking out of sheer desperation, it is better to draw a hard and clear line.
6 reasons why it's worth taking a second look before saying goodbye
Sometimes, however, it's worth taking a second look before finally breaking off contact and saying goodbye to each other. How many couples find each other only after several meetings, when they really get to know each other and fall in love?
1. Clarify your desires
Before you meet your dream partner, it is very important that you listen carefully to yourself and your desires. Over time, we often forget to update these desires, so they become overlaid by old experiences and external expectations.
2. Define your goals
Make sure that your desires leave some room for surprises. And when you formulate your personal no-gos, for example, only include characteristics that you absolutely cannot tolerate.
It is important to strike a balance. If you don't want to adapt your ideas to reality, you can easily fall into the projection trap and create a virtual, ideal dream partner who does not exist in reality.
3. Practice patience
In one photo, he's wearing a plaid shirt, in another his hair is too short, there's a spelling mistake, in another he raves about his vacation in Mallorca – you turn up your nose and are already halfway to clicking “Say goodbye.” It's quick and easy to do – one click and he's gone.
But in fact, with such a superficial remote diagnosis, you're missing out on interesting members or will soon be wondering why your list of suggested partners is empty. So our advice is: rein in your impatience and take your time when making a decision.
4. Don't weigh everything on golden scales
It's not easy to put your own character into words in conversation, and it's even more difficult to write about your own personality.
Let's be honest: is everything in your profile perfect? Or would you also like your readers to be a little lenient and read between the lines? Exactly.
The same goes for photos: many people don't particularly like being photographed and are simply not photogenic, but are still very attractive.
5. Be generous
Not everyone is a pro at self-marketing, but that doesn't mean they aren't special, wonderful people. So if the photo doesn't quite look like George Clooney or Angelina Jolie and the entries in your profile aren't award-winning, be generous and take a closer look.
However, as soon as you feel uncomfortable or pressured in closer contact, you should say goodbye. But if your gut feeling tells you that something here is exciting and interests you, wait a little longer.
6. Keep revising
Nothing we deal with in our everyday lives was perfect from the start. The first recipe for roast venison, for example, was already very good and was then refined over generations.
In love, too, one thing above all else leads to success: that we constantly review and readjust our attitudes and beliefs and gain new experiences.
With each new contact, you learn a little more about what feels right and what you can easily do without. Take note from time to time: What did you like so much about this contact and what did you dislike about that one?
In this way, you will slowly but surely approach your ideal and your dream partner. Take your time, because you will have a whole life with this partner.
Cutting off contact after a breakup? 5 reasons why you should!
If you've just broken up, you first need to process your breakup. But right after a breakup, it's especially difficult not to contact your ex. It's hard to give up the habit of hearing from each other every day and staying in close contact. Many people even get creative to find out where their ex is and what they're up to. WhatsApp, Instagram, and Facebook are helpful portals for this.
During the grieving phase, we only torment ourselves with this, because our thoughts are in the past and living without our partner seems impossible. But breaking off contact or cutting off contact helps us process the breakup more quickly.
5 reasons for breaking off contact:
1. It shows that you can live without your partner.
2. It conveys self-confidence and strength.
3. You need time to detach yourself from your ex-partner.
4. You need time for yourself and to learn to love yourself again.
5. You should reflect on why the relationship broke down so that you don't make the same mistake again.
