The Dating ABC: Everything you need to know about obscure dating trends
Haven't heard of love bombing and obligaswiping yet? No problem! LemonSwan reveals in its detailed Dating ABC which sometimes nasty dating trends singles should be wary of.
ABC Dating: Out of ideas for dates and locations? With ABC dating, the alphabet provides a theme. How about fishing or a visit to the circus, for example? Advanced users can try their hand at X or umlauts. This trend can be practiced by singles and couples alike.
B
Benching: Also known as submarining. A sophisticated stalling tactic. A meeting is discussed repeatedly, but instead of a concrete date proposal, months of innocuous texting follow. We say: Bye-bye!
Binge dating: Dating several people within a short period of time, usually within a week. Malicious tongues refer to BD as playing the field or parallel dating. Often observed shortly after the binge dater's breakup. It's better to focus on one date at a time...
Breadcrumbing: Flirting until nothing happens. The scattered breadcrumbs definitely don't lead to the goal. Rather, it's all about flirting and being remembered. If you're looking for something serious, you should be careful.
C
Caspering: Getting rejected is awful, that's for sure. But it's even worse when the other person simply breaks off contact and is neither heard nor seen (see ghosting). At least caspering includes a nice goodbye message, which preferably contains a little compliment in addition to the reasons for saying goodbye. After all, it's not anyone's fault if there's no spark.
Catfishing: Who wouldn't want to be someone completely different for once? Whether real or imaginative creations of their own, this trend involves singles pretending to be someone they are not. No, thank you!
Cuffing: When the temperatures drop and outdoor activities shift to the comfort of your own four walls, it's time to find a cuddle partner. Netflix and pizza included. Incidentally, the phenomenon is derived from the English term for handcuffs (the cuff), as these couples “chain themselves” together, especially in the cold season.
Cushioning: It's really bad to date while you're still in a relationship. “Cushion” stands for padding or reserve. Those who engage in cushioning provide themselves with several options as a precaution. Safety first? Not!
D
Drafting: The cold season is known to be cuffing season. Finding the right (short-term) partner requires some preparation. Which player is suitable and who stays on the bench? It's not very nice to take such a strategic approach.
F
Firedooring: With “firedooring,” all hatches are battened down—at least on one side. No more messages, no more phone calls. The firedoorer only approaches the object of their desire when necessary—preferably at impossible times. In the worst case, the object of their desire drops everything to meet with them. Seriously?
G
Ghosting: First date, second date, things are going well. But then, suddenly, one party disappears completely. All contact is broken off and nothing works anymore. Why, how, what for? Sorry, but those who are ghosted usually don't get any reasons. We much prefer caspering!
Gatsbying: While the Great Gatsby used to throw parties to impress a very special lady, the digital age offers slightly different possibilities. Via Snapchat, Twitter, and the like, lonely souls vie for the attention of their sweetheart with targeted posts and stories. Who else was that silly cat video intended for?
H
Haunting: Stalking alert! With haunting, the ex-flirt suddenly disappears from your life (see ghosting). But mysteriously, that person still follows you on social media. Every now and then, there's even a like for pics and posts. What's that about?
Hyping: The stopgap phenomenon. A man or woman uses the fling
solely for an ego boost. Usually to prepare for the next real relationship.
How cheeky!
L
Love bombing: Sounds like a lot of love, and it is. But be careful! Love bombers demand
undivided attention. Meeting friends? No way. This trend is usually recognizable by highly
controlling behavior. Better to pull the ripcord quickly.
M
Marleying: Means getting back in touch with your ex during the holidays. Nostalgia and increased alcohol consumption often influence perception. Always remember: there were reasons for the breakup...
Mingle: Less of a dating trend and more of a relationship trend. Stands for mixed single. Not quite taken, not quite single. The gray area where both parties can't or don't want to commit. Yet there are so many wonderful reasons for a committed relationship.
Mosting: The high is followed by a deep fall. What initially appears to be true love (love bombing) suddenly turns out to be hot air. Without warning, your partner has completely disappeared from the scene (ghosting). Did they ever really exist, or was it all just a dream?
O
Obligaswiping: Swipe left, swipe right—but there's no real interest in conversation, let alone meeting up. Welcome to the circle of obligaswipers. Although they feel obligated as singles to participate in the search for a partner, they only do so superficially. Better to leave the field to the singles who are actually looking.
Orbiting: A flirt keeps us in their orbit. Although no more messages are exchanged, they still follow us on at least one social media account. Close enough to know what's going on, but far enough away to avoid having to talk. What's the point?
P
Phubbing: Smartphones take up a lot of space these days. It's understandable that the
other person feels offended when you're only interested in “the one” (see also sidebarring). So it's better not to do this.
Pigging: Men are pigs. At least, that's true of those who participate in this dating trend.
Groups of men seek out supposedly unattractive female candidates, date them, and then dump them in a nasty way. Challenge not accepted!
R
Roaching (from the word “roach”): Are you happy and already sharing more than just the couch? Be careful, because with roaching, the person in question is playing the field. The excuse of the busy person: there hasn't been an official conversation about exclusivity yet.
S
Sidebarring: Fantastic date, funny story, and then rrrrring. The smartphone rings and demands full attention. Sidebarring means we neglect the person we're with in favor of our smartphone. And no, multitasking is no excuse for this either (see also phubbing).
Slow fading: How do you say goodbye politely? Oh yes, just let the contact fade away by getting in touch less and less. At least, that's the principle of slow fading. Just say “no”!
Speed hating: The concept of speed dating is clear. In speed hating, however, the brief communication is based on topics and things that the conversation partners can't stand. From hours of traffic jams to clothing disasters to toilet paper that's hanging the wrong way round. Positive side effect: the compatibility for arguing becomes apparent right from the start.
Stashing: The rule here is: VIPs only. Just because someone is part of your life and knows your family doesn't mean that the reverse is true. Even after weeks and months, the other person's private life remains shrouded in mystery. Even the most persistent treasure hunters will come up empty-handed. So it's better to set off on an adventure with a better chance of success.
Submarining (Benching): Just as submarines dive and resurface, so do some human specimens. Suddenly there is radio silence, only to be followed shortly afterwards by an innocuous message such as “Hey, how are you?” Who can make sense of that?
T
Tindstagramming: Linking Tinder and Instagram is not a problem at first
. But be careful: with tindstagramming, online stalkers use
Instagram data to make contact—even if this was obviously not desired.
Tuning: All or nothing? Tuning describes behavior that lies exactly between
obvious flirting and very subtle, actually friendly messages. An innocuous like here, a nice comment there. What are we to make of it?
U
Uncuffing: Enough is enough. Goodbye couch and cuddles. It's time to find a companion who promises lots of fun and action in the summer months. Honest partner search looks different.
Z
Zombieing: Relationship over, separate ways. Then: After months of complete silence, one of the ex-partners suddenly gets in touch again. Often, alcohol is “to blame” for the contact. Reasons: ego boost, recurring feelings, or a certain need. It doesn't have to be that way.
LemonSwan press team:
More information at www.lemonswan.com
