What is love? We asked Prof. Dr. Günter Burkart, an expert in cultural sociology.
What is love and who invented it? Prof. Dr. Günter Burkart provides historical insights into the origins of love.
Professor Burkart, you examine love from a scientific, historical, and cultural-sociological perspective. Can you tell us:
Why does love exist?
Humans can only survive as social beings, i.e., in communities and relationships. Family love in large family groups, as well as group solidarity and a sense of community, have lost importance over time, while love in “shrunken” couple communities has gained significance. Why? This is directly related to the growing importance of individuality, especially since the 18th century. Since that time, large (family) communities have become smaller and more intimate; couples have increasingly formed independently of the idea of starting a family.
What are the advantages of a two-person partnership?
A good relationship often offers better opportunities for a happy life than many other forms of commitment. Modern relationships between two people create space for recognition and security. They also enable self-fulfillment, which only works to a certain extent in friendships. People who live in a partnership have it easier in many ways and may live better (even if marriage can still sometimes be a “prison”).
Love forever – more than just a dream?
First of all, it's important to remember that the majority of marriages remain intact. And even though the trend is moving away from relationships lasting a lifetime, most couples still believe in the so-called “fiction of eternity.” This means that they enter into their respective relationships with the belief that they will last forever or that a relationship should generally last forever. And although there is a great need for fleeting sexual encounters, from a certain age onwards, the desire for a stable relationship for the purpose of starting a family dominates.
What are the reasons why people are faithful or unfaithful?
Faithfulness, i.e. loyalty, is still one of the core values in a romantic relationship. In addition to sexual fidelity, this primarily refers to general support. Infidelity, on the other hand, usually refers “only” to sexual affairs. So someone is either faithful for moral reasons, because the value of loyalty is important to them, or for rational reasons, when they weigh up the “costs and benefits” of their infidelity. Incidentally, polyamory is not an alternative for most people.
According to your research, do online relationships last longer?
Long-term relationship stability depends on individual relationship dynamics and external influences. In my opinion, the way in which partners are chosen, whether online or offline, plays less of a role.
Why are there still so many discussions about finding a partner online?
Many people still want to believe in romance and fate and therefore doubt the “predictability” of life and love. For some, finding love online, based on data and technology, is incompatible with the classic romantic idea of finding a partner. Those who have been looking for love in the traditional way are also concerned that online dating is too goal-oriented compared to chance social encounters, which makes it feel forced.
Fortunately, numerous positive examples show that online dating works—without any tension. To our last question: How free is love?
The fact that love is so detached from society and social constraints, as it appears in the romantic ideal, is not a given: psychology, neoliberalism, and the pressure to be efficient threaten detached love and exert pressure. Because everything seems to have to have a purpose these days: even love. An extremely unromantic thought, I know.
Our LemonSwan couples in love see the purpose of love in happiness itself and the beautiful feelings that come with it. Nevertheless, it is really exciting to see how love has developed over time to become what many, many singles are searching for every day. Thank you very much for the insightful interview, Prof. Dr. Burkart.
