Relationship burnout: When relationships make us ill

Pressure and stress at work are causing more and more people to suffer from burnout. But did you know that your relationship can also suffer from what is known as relationship burnout? Find out what this means, how to recognize it, and how to overcome it:

What is relationship burnout?

Burnout describes chronic exhaustion due to excessive stress. Stress is not necessarily a bad thing, but if there is no recovery phase between periods of stress and stress becomes a permanent condition, it will make us ill sooner or later. Although the term relationship burnout is quite new, the phenomenon itself has been known for a long time. The causes are similar to those of professional burnout. You simply invest too much, overwork yourself without paying attention to your own needs, until your body eventually pulls the ripcord. It is not uncommon for professional and relationship burnout to occur in parallel.

Is my relationship making me ill? 6 typical signs

How does relationship burnout manifest itself? Many physical symptoms are similar to those of professional burnout. These include, for example, sleep problems, muscle tension, or a high susceptibility to infections. In addition, there are also some signs that are particularly typical of burnout due to a relationship.

1. You no longer look forward to spending time together

When you think about spending an evening together, does it fill you with fear of new arguments and discussions rather than romantic anticipation? If you no longer look forward to spending time with your partner, this can be an early sign of relationship burnout.

2. No longer interested in sex

When we are under constant stress, our bodies produce particularly high levels of cortisol. This hormone, also known as the stress hormone, reduces your desire and makes you find your partner less attractive. In this way, your body is sending you clear signals that your relationship is making you ill.

3. Constant tiredness and exhaustion

People who suffer from relationship burnout are under stress 24/7. Understandably, this makes us tired, exhausted, and drained. If you give everything and more to your relationship every day, your energy reserves will simply be depleted at some point. Urgent action is needed here, because your relationship is making you ill.

4. Relationship burnout can lead to withdrawal

Lately, you just like to be alone. You usually cancel appointments or events. Withdrawal is also a typical sign of burnout in a relationship.

5. Weight changes

We all deal with constant stress in different ways. While some people lose their appetite and can hardly eat anything when they are stressed, others suffer from severe food cravings. A sudden change in weight can, of course, have many other causes, but it is often a sign that you are experiencing relationship burnout.

6. Indifference as a sign of relationship burnout

Lately, you can hardly get excited about anything and everything seems indifferent to you? Somehow, everything is too much for you right now and even the vacation you've been looking forward to for months doesn't trigger any feelings in you anymore? It's clear: you're stuck in a relationship burnout.

Recognizing and overcoming relationship burnout: 4 tips

Every partnership goes through ups and downs. That's perfectly normal. If you overcome the crisis together, it will bring you even closer together. In order to overcome relationship burnout together, it is particularly important to recognize it early on. Here's how to do it:

1. Talk about your feelings

Communication plays a crucial role in overcoming crises together. Talking about feelings in a relationship should be a matter of course. However, in everyday life, this often falls by the wayside.

2. Communicate your needs to overcome relationship burnout

Would you have thought so? A full 70 percent of all relationship conflicts arise from the fact that both partners have different needs and desires but do not communicate them properly. If everything in your relationship is becoming too much for you, the key to happiness is, as so often, communication. It is normal and even good that two people do not always have the same needs. Or maybe your needs are not so different after all. Talk about it and find out.

3. Rethink your own expectations

Do you have a certain image in your head of what a perfect and happy relationship should look like for you? And your partner doesn't live up to that image? No wonder, because it's YOUR image. Even if you communicate to your partner what bothers you, you can't expect them to behave exactly the way you want them to. At the end of the day, you love them for who they are, with all their quirks and flaws. Trying to change your partner to fit your ideal is not the solution. A willingness to compromise is called for here.

4. Overcome relationship burnout with mindfulness

Another proven way to overcome relationship burnout is mindfulness. Especially when a relationship has been going on for a long time, we eventually start to take it for granted and no longer appreciate the other person's efforts as much as we did at the beginning of the relationship. Yet it is precisely the many little things and gestures of attention that bring our partner the most joy. How about a spontaneous dinner, a loving text message, or even just a little note on the refrigerator? A small token of love now and then can go a long way in a long-term relationship.

5. Get help

Are you stuck and unable to move forward on your own? Don't be afraid to seek help from friends or, if in doubt, to go to couples counseling. This is not a sign that your relationship has failed, but rather shows how much you both care about the partnership. Other people can help you to pay more attention to each other again and to be considerate of your partner's needs.

Conclusion: Relationship burnout does not mean the end

Relationship burnout can quickly become a test for your partnership, but it does not mean the end. Communication is key here. Do not ignore the signs, but talk about them and, above all, talk to each other. Only if no compromise can be found because your needs are so far apart should you consider a separation. You simply do not seem to be made for each other.