When and how should you say “I love you”: 7 tips for that special moment
Saying “I love you” means expressing deep affection for someone. It is a very special kind of statement. The other person has chosen you with all their heart and wants to be with you. But when is the right time to say “I love you”? And how do you even tell someone that you love them? Does “I love you” have to be romantic? We will now answer this question and many more:
When is the right time to say “I love you”?
And when do you say “I love you” for the first time? Statistics show that we Germans don't wait too long to confess our love. Just under 20% say “I love you” after only a week, and 23% wait a month to confess their love. It sounds as if Germans are quick to be sure of their feelings. But when is the right time to say “I love you”?
The perfect moment is entirely individual
Everyone is different, and that's a good thing. But it also means that everyone has a different relationship with love and feelings. Many people are shy, others are very extroverted and wear their heart on their sleeve. Some have been hurt many times and have therefore become more cautious. Others don't think it's necessary to say “I love you” because they show it in other ways.
Is this premise fulfilled? Then you should just say it freely. Believe us, you will feel relieved when the magic words are finally said. No one forgets the first “I love you,” and it remains a positive memory. Whether at home on the sofa or in Paris on the Eiffel Tower. So always remember: when you feel completely comfortable and secure, the perfect moment for the first “I love you” will come all by itself.
Men or women? Who says “I love you” first?
You are sure of your feelings and wonder: Does he or she love me too? We have all experienced this situation at some point. But instead of simply saying “I love you,” we tend to wait for the other person to make the first move. This naturally raises the question: Should the man or the woman say “I love you” first? The answer is simple: It doesn't matter! Say it when it feels right.
Where is the best place to declare your love?
We understand that when you say “I love you” for the first time, you want everything to be perfect. This naturally includes finding a wonderful place that is worthy of this important declaration of love. But here, too, it's all very individual: there is no such thing as the perfect place to say “I love you.” Perhaps you feel like doing it after having a great conversation with your partner in the evening before going to bed. Or maybe the restaurant where you had your first date is the right place?
The main thing, we think, is that you are face to face with your partner. It's best if you have the opportunity to look deep into each other's eyes to see the other person's reaction. Even in the age of online dating, this is still something that is best said in person.
How do you say “I love you”?
Does it always have to be “I love you”? No, of course not! Especially if you are still in the getting-to-know-you phase and seeing everything through rose-colored glasses, “I love you” may be a little too soon. Your feelings are running wild. It will take a little more time before you can say those magical words with complete conviction. Here's the best way to express your feelings during this phase:
1. Express your affection through paraphrasing
Not quite ready to say “I love you”? Then simply use paraphrasing.
“I've been looking forward to seeing you all day.”
“When I'm with you, I always get butterflies in my stomach.”
There are countless ways to express your feelings to your partner without saying “I love you.”
2. Nonverbal ways to say “I love you”
Depending on our character and personal experiences, we humans have different ways of expressing our love. This is also known as the different languages of love. One of these love languages is expressing love through gifts and small gestures. Small gestures are crucial here. Bring your partner a small souvenir from your vacation to show them that you were thinking of them. Or surprise your partner with a bouquet of flowers, theater tickets, or some chocolate. There are so many ways to say “I love you” nonverbally.
3. Let tenderness speak for itself
Are you not one for big words? Or are you just too shy to actually say the three words? Then show your partner your love through tenderness or touch. A heartfelt hug or a tender kiss sometimes say more than a thousand words.
4. Use “I love you” in moderation
Once you've said those three magic words for the first time, they suddenly roll off the tongue with ease. So it's totally understandable that you now want to say “I love you” every five minutes. But it's also nice when the most beautiful sentence in the world remains something special.
When is it too early to say “I love you”?
You're wondering: When is it okay to say “I love you”? And when is it too early to say “I love you”? To help you feel ready, we have a few helpful tips for you:
1. Take your time to interpret your emotions correctly
Your life is in turmoil right now: a lot of stress at work, your best friend comes to you with problems and wants your advice, and then there's your new partner, who makes your heart race every time he's around.
The first thing to do is keep a cool head. Get your emotional chaos under control before you devote yourself fully to your feelings for him or her. That way, you'll both get more out of it.
2. Get to know and love your partner very well.
The first few dates were breathtaking? Wonderful! Are you floating on cloud nine and thinking it couldn't get any better? Stop! Only with time will you really get to know all sides of each other. In retrospect, you may even find that you are not so well suited after all. So here, too, patience pays off!
3. Wait to say “I love you” until you and your partner have become intimate
You've been dating for a few weeks, but haven't become intimate yet? That's not a bad thing at all! Take as much time as you need. Intimacy in a relationship is wonderful, but it should never be forced. However, before you confess your love, you might want to wait. Sometimes couples realize that they are not compatible once they have become intimate. Intimacy is not everything, but it is an essential part of a relationship.
Possible reactions to a confession of love
Your personal nightmare scenario: you confess your love and your partner looks at you completely dumbfounded? Then he or she certainly did not expect such a confession. Of course, that's not how it should go. To ensure you are prepared for anything, we would like to prepare you for possible scenarios.
1. Dance of joy
You've finally said it. Your partner is beaming from ear to ear and throws their arms around you. The best response to a confession of love is, of course, when your partner says “I love you” back.
2. Uncertainty
You can tell from their facial expression that your partner is happy, but overwhelmed by the situation. Don't panic—give your partner a moment.
3. Rejection
We don't want this to happen, but it has happened before. You confess your love and your partner cannot reciprocate or does not want to reciprocate at all. In that case, chin up! They just weren't the right one.
Conclusion: “I love you” should come from the heart
Whether it's the place, the time, or even the way you confess your love—love and relationships are so different, unique, and individual that there is simply no ultimate way to do it. The important thing is to listen carefully to your heart and your feelings, because then nothing can really go wrong. We wish you all the luck in the world with your new love!
