Everything you need to know about romance scammers
In recent years, the number of romance scams has increased dramatically. These scammers pretend to be romantic partners in order to gain their victims' trust and exploit them financially. In this article, you will learn how these scams work, what the signs are, and how you can protect yourself and others from them.
What are romance scammers?
Romance scammers, also known as love scammers, are criminals who use the internet to form emotional bonds with unsuspecting victims with the aim of exploiting them financially. They often create fake profiles on social networks, dating websites, or even professional networks in order to reach as wide an audience as possible.
These scammers often pretend to be attractive, successful, and often international personalities. Popular roles include businesspeople traveling abroad, military personnel on deployment, or doctors on humanitarian missions. These fictitious identities are intended to inspire trust and make any investigations more difficult.
The approach of a romance scammer is usually very strategic:
Initial contact: They send non-committal messages or show interest in your profile to establish an initial connection.
Building trust: Through regular communication, often via email, chat, or phone calls, they build emotional closeness. They share personal stories, show understanding, and reflect your interests.
Emotional manipulation: Once a bond has been established, they begin to express deep feelings, talk about love and plans for a future together. This often happens at an unusually fast pace.
Isolation of the victim: They try to isolate you from friends and family, for example by saying that no one would understand your love.
Financial demands: Finally, they ask for money, often for alleged emergencies such as medical treatment, legal problems, or travel expenses to meet you in person.
It is important to emphasize that these scammers are often professionally organized. They use psychological techniques to gain their victims' trust and dispel their doubts.
How do romance scams work?
Romance scams are complex fraud schemes that unfold in several strategic phases. The scammers' goal is to build an emotional connection with you in order to ultimately gain financial or other personal benefits. Understanding these phases can help you recognize warning signs early on and protect yourself.
Making contact
Scammers usually start by creating fake profiles on dating websites, social networks, or even professional networks such as LinkedIn. They often use stolen photos and invent impressive biographies to appear attractive and trustworthy.
Typical characteristics of these profiles are:
Attractive appearance: Use of photos of good-looking people, often models or military personnel.
Successful career: Claims such as doctor, engineer, entrepreneur, or soldier.
International presence: They claim to live or work abroad, which makes face-to-face meetings difficult.
By using these platforms, they can reach a large number of potential victims and increase their chances of finding someone who will fall for their scam.
Building trust through emotional manipulation
Once initial contact has been established, the scammers invest a lot of time and effort in building a close emotional relationship. They communicate frequently and intensively to establish a deep connection with you.
Typical tactics in this phase include:
Quick declarations of love: After only a short time, they talk about love, soulmates, and plans for a future together.
Personal stories: They share supposedly intimate details from their lives to gain your sympathy and trust.
Mirroring interests: They agree with your hobbies, values, and views to feign common ground.
Isolation: They try to isolate you from friends and family by claiming that no one would understand your relationship.
This phase can last for weeks or even months. The scammers are patient and tailor their communication to your reactions and emotions.
Requesting money under false pretenses
Once a strong emotional bond has been established, the scammers begin to make financial demands. They construct credible and often urgent situations designed to elicit your sympathy.
Common scenarios include:
Medical emergencies: They claim that they or a close relative is seriously ill and urgently needs money for surgery or treatment.
Travel problems: They want to visit you but have unexpected costs for visas, tickets, or customs fees and ask for financial assistance.
Business difficulties: An unexpected problem in their alleged business requires a quick financial solution.
Legal problems: They have gotten into legal trouble and need money for lawyers or bail.
They often ask you to send the money through channels that are difficult to trace, such as money transfer services or cryptocurrencies. Once the money has been transferred, they find further excuses for additional payments or abruptly break off contact.
Continuation of the scam
In some cases, the scammers are not satisfied with a one-time payment. They try to continue exploiting you by inventing new stories or even claiming to have been victims of fraud themselves. They use your previous investments to put further emotional pressure on you.
Signs of a romance scammer
Recognizing romance scammers is crucial to protecting yourself from financial and emotional harm. There are certain warning signs and behavior patterns to look out for in order to identify potential scammers early on.
Exchanging contact details too quickly
Scammers often try to move communication to private channels such as email, WhatsApp, or Telegram as early as possible. They share their contact details in the first few messages and urge you to communicate outside the platform. This serves to bypass the dating platform's controls and hide their actions.
Why is this suspicious? Why would you want to share your private information directly with someone you don't know yet? Genuine users usually stay on the platform at first to build trust. So, pushing for private communication early on can be a warning sign.
How to respond? Avoid leaving the platform until you are sure that the person is genuine. Question the reason for the quick switch to other channels.
Expressing strong feelings too quickly
A common characteristic of romance scammers is the hasty expression of deep emotions. After only a short time of communication, they declare their love, talk about fate or a special connection. Such intense expressions of emotion serve to gain your trust and create emotional dependence.
Why is this suspicious? In real relationships, deep feelings usually develop over a longer period of time. If someone you hardly know is already confessing their love to you, you should be cautious.
How to respond? Remain skeptical and question the authenticity of these feelings. Share your concerns with friends or family to get an outside perspective.
Requests for money, often for alleged emergencies
Another clear warning sign is requests for financial support. Scammers often fabricate urgent emergencies to elicit your sympathy:
Medical emergencies: They claim to be seriously ill or that a family member needs urgent medical attention.
Travel problems: They want to visit you but suddenly have problems with visas, tickets, or customs fees.
Financial difficulties: They have run into business problems or have allegedly been robbed and need money at short notice.
These requests usually come after a period of intense emotional bonding to increase the likelihood that you will help.
Why is this suspicious? Real partners would rarely ask for money, especially in the early stages of a relationship.
How to respond? Do not transfer any money and instead offer to help in other ways. Be suspicious if the contact breaks off or becomes aggressive.
Excuses for why a face-to-face meeting is not possible
Romance scammers avoid face-to-face meetings and video calls to hide their true identity.
Typical excuses include:
Work commitments: They claim to be on a business trip, in military service, or on a humanitarian mission abroad.
Technical problems: They don't have a webcam or claim to have connection problems.
Personal obstacles: Sudden family emergencies or legal problems prevent a meeting.
Why is this suspicious? In a real relationship, there is usually a desire to meet in person and spend time together.
How to respond? Don't push, but remain alert. If new excuses keep cropping up, you should reconsider the communication.
Other warning signs:
Unclear or contradictory information: The other person's stories change or contain inconsistencies.
Unusual wording: Despite supposedly being from the same country, the messages are written in unusual language, which could indicate automatic translation.
Too good to be true: The profile seems perfect, with an impressive resume and attractive photos.
Protection against romance scams: Preventive measures
The best protection against romance scams is vigilance and informed caution. By knowing the methods used by scammers and remaining alert, you can effectively protect yourself from financial and emotional damage. Here are some proven strategies for avoiding romance scammers.
a) Check online profiles for authenticity
Use image search: Use reverse image search services such as Google Images or TinEye to check profile pictures. If the same photo appears on different profiles or websites, caution is advised.
Analyze profile information: Look for contradictory details or unusually vague information. A profile with no friends, posts, or personal content can be a warning sign.
Linguistic anomalies: Poor English, grammatical errors, or unnatural expressions may indicate that the person is not who they claim to be.
b) Be skeptical of quick declarations of love
Pace of the relationship: If someone talks about love or expresses intense feelings after only a short time, caution is advised. Real relationships take time to develop.
Emotional pressure: Don't let yourself be pressured into revealing emotional or personal information. Scammers often use manipulation tactics to quickly establish closeness.
c) Be cautious about requests for financial help
No money transfers: Do not transfer money to people you only know online, regardless of the reasons given.
Question excuses: Be skeptical if new emergencies requiring financial support keep cropping up.
Offer alternative help: Offer to help in other ways, e.g., by organizing local support. Scammers usually refuse this, as they are only interested in money.
d) Face-to-face meetings:
Direct contact: Insist on video calls or face-to-face meetings in public places. Scammers will often find excuses to avoid this.
Proof of identity: Ask for additional confirmation of their identity, such as photos with the current date or specific gestures.
e) Use secure communication channels
Stay on the platform: Communicate within the dating platform or social network that offers security mechanisms.
Do not share personal information: Do not disclose sensitive information such as your address, phone number, or financial details.
f) Involve trusted individuals
Consult friends and family: Discuss your online contacts with people close to you. An objective outside perspective can help identify warning signs.
Professional advice: If you are unsure, consult professionals such as psychologists or specialized counseling centers.
What to do if you have been the victim of a romance scam?
The shock and disappointment of being the victim of a romance scam can be overwhelming. However, it is important to act quickly to prevent further damage and minimize any losses that may have already been incurred. Here are the steps you should take:
a) Break off contact immediately
Stop communicating: Immediately cease all contact with the person. Do not respond to any more messages, emails, or phone calls.
Block the scammer: Block the person on all platforms and communication channels to prevent further contact attempts.
Do not share any more information: Do not disclose any more personal or financial information.
b) Take financial action
Contact your bank: Inform your bank or credit card provider about the incident. They may be able to stop or reverse payments.
Check your accounts: Check your bank and credit card accounts for unauthorized transactions.
Change passwords: Change all passwords for your online accounts, especially if you have shared this information or the scammer may have access to it.
c) Report it to the authorities
Report it to the police: Gather all evidence, such as chat histories, emails, and transfer receipts, and take it to the police. An official report is important for possible investigations.
Inform the platform operators: Report the scammer's profile to the respective website or social network so that the account can be blocked.
d) Seek emotional support
Talk to people you trust: Share your experience with friends or family members. Emotional support can help you process what has happened.
Professional help: Don't be afraid to seek psychological counseling or therapy. Victims of romance scams often suffer from shame and guilt, which require professional support.
Conclusion
Romance scams are a growing threat in our increasingly digital world. Scammers skillfully exploit human emotions to gain financial and personal advantages. It is therefore essential to learn about the methods used by scammers and to remain vigilant.
Key takeaways:
Stay alert: Question unusual behavior and be skeptical of overly hasty declarations of love.
No money transfers: Never send money to people you only know online.
Report suspicious cases: Inform platform operators to protect yourself and others.
Seek support: Don't be afraid to ask for help if you are affected.
Final statistics
A comparison of global losses due to romance scams shows the alarming increase in this type of fraud:
USA (FTC report 2022): Over $1 billion in losses.
Australia (ACCC Scamwatch 2022): Losses of over 131 million Australian dollars.
Europe (Interpol and Europol reports): Rising case numbers and significant financial damage in numerous member states.
These figures underscore the need for joint efforts by individuals, organizations, and governments to combat romance scams.
This article is based on LemonSwan's experiences and the following sources:
Europol (2022). Internet Organised Crime Threat Assessment (IOCTA) 2022.
Verfügbar unter: Europol IOCTA 2022Federal Trade Commission (FTC) (2022). Consumer Sentinel Network Data Book 2022.
Verfügbar unter: FTC Consumer Sentinel NetworkWhitty, M.T. (2018). Anatomy of the Online Dating Romance Scam.
In: Security Journal, 31(3), 1–20.
DOI: 10.1057/s41284-017-0093-2Whitty, M.T. & Buchanan, T. (2016). The Online Dating Romance Scam: A Serious Cybercrime.
In: Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 19(2), 74–77.
DOI: 10.1089/cyber.2015.0629Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) (2022). Targeting Scams Report 2022.
Verfügbar unter: ACCC Scamwatch ReportsInterpol (2021). Financial Crime and Romance Scams.
Verfügbar unter: Interpol – Financial CrimeStatista (2023). Verluste durch Romance Scams weltweit.
Verfügbar unter: Statista – Romance ScamsFederal Trade Commission (FTC) (2022). Reports and Data.
Verfügbar unter: FTC Reports and DataACCC Scamwatch (2022). Scam Statistics.
Verfügbar unter: Scamwatch StatisticsDr. Monica Whitty, Professorin für Cyberpsychologie.
Informationen zu ihrer Forschung verfügbar unter: University of Warwick – Dr. Monica WhittyInterpol (2021). Romance Scam Awareness.
Verfügbar unter: Interpol Notices
