Long-distance relationships: 11 tips, 23 advantages, and 9 problems

No one says that a long-distance relationship is easy—love from afar makes many things unattainable and complicates matters. Loneliness and sadness are often associated with this type of relationship. However, the additional distance also ensures that the simplest things become the most beautiful.

But enough with the negativity—there are many great reasons from a study that speak in favor of long-distance relationships and tips on how you can successfully maintain one. So stay tuned.

23 Advantages of Long-Distance Relationships

1. Recharge your batteries

People in long-distance relationships who see each other feel like they are finally “recharging their batteries.” The feeling of recharging by spending time together prepares them for the upcoming period of separation.

2. Reminiscing about the relationship

Being together brings back memories of the relationship and your partner (i.e., how and why you are in the relationship, what you like about each other or the relationship).

3. Creating memories

The time you spend together helps you build memories and shared experiences that you can draw on during the time apart.

4. Segmentation

The time spent together is for the relationship, while the time spent apart is for individual lives. This gives you a sense of separate lives.

5. Anticipation

The time spent together is a fundamental basis for an exciting feeling when the next time together is approaching. The anticipation ensures that you both look forward and can better bridge the time apart until the next meeting.

6. A long-distance relationship strengthens trust

Spending time together strengthens trust in the relationship.

7. Constructs the familiar

Time spent together helps to gain a sense of security about each other's lives (separate from each other) and the relationship. Your separation feels more “manageable” because you reduce your uncertainty about issues affecting your partner and your relationship.

8. Relationship intimacy

The time spent together helps to increase and diversify the intimacy of your relationship.

When you are apart, you feel more like you are part of a relationship because you continued to build intimacy with each other when you were together, which in turn works to bind you together when you are apart.

9. In a long-distance relationship, you use your time together more intensely

Being apart makes you want to have a good time together when you get together. You plan to do certain activities when you are together that help make it a wonderful time.

10. Segmentation

You can do things when you are apart (e.g., get work done) that help your time together. You can focus your relationship time.

Being apart allows you to accomplish certain tasks that, in turn, allow you as a couple to do other things (e.g., relational “stuff”) when you are together.

11. Excitement

Being apart helps you build excitement in the relationship or for the relationship or time you will spend together. So when you get together, you do things for each other and have a positive feeling of excitement/joy.

12. Appreciation

The time you spend apart allows you to appreciate your partner and the relationship more and in different ways, so that when you are together, your appreciation and time together are positively affected in different ways.

13. New things to share

The time apart allows for new experiences that you can share when you are together. In other words, things happen to you or you experience things when you are apart that you can bring into the time you spend together and use for that time.

14. More time for yourself

You definitely have more time for yourself when you're in a long-distance relationship. Enjoy the freedom, because it doesn't matter if you treat yourself to a large ice cream at 11 p.m. or indulge your craving for a good pizza.

15. You escape the daily grind of a relationship

In most relationships, everyday life sets in within a short time, the infatuation phase wears off, your partner is taken for granted, and you temporarily forget what you have in each other—but not you.

Due to the short and limited time you have together, you automatically realize what you have in your partner and plan activities all the more lovingly.

16. More intense time

Your time together may be short, but it is all the more intense. You need or want to catch up on a lot from the last few days, bring each other up to date, and do nice things together.

17. The best test of whether a relationship works

A long-distance relationship is the best test of whether your relationship has great potential for the future! Of course, it's a test of endurance, but if you can make it work, you can do anything.

18. Long-distance relationships mean independence

In a long-distance relationship, you don't become dependent on your partner. It's easy to fall into the rut of adapting to each other and almost start clinging to each other. That can't happen to you. Whether you meet up with your friends during the week, have time for yourself, or whatever else you want to do. You are definitely not dependent.

19. You learn to communicate properly

In a long-distance relationship, good and proper communication is essential. It will certainly take some time until you find the rhythm that suits you. However, this only works if you communicate clearly and directly how you feel, what you want, and where you want to go with the relationship.

20. You become an organizational guru

You will develop organizational skills. Balancing family, friends, and career has never been easy, especially when you're in a long-distance relationship. Planning is therefore extremely important, and that's exactly what you'll learn to do.

21. Adventure guaranteed

A long-distance relationship is an adventure. Characterized by many great moments, some high, some low, you will enjoy the journey of a long-distance relationship on the one hand and master it adventurously on the other.

22. Ideal career opportunities

Your independence in everyday life gives you the best opportunities for your career. You don't have to hold back for your partner, but can flourish to your full potential.

23. Your own retreat

You have your own retreat—your own apartment. There's no one here you don't want to be here, or when you just want to enjoy some peace and quiet.

The 8 biggest disadvantages of a long-distance relationship

1. What is my partner really like in everyday life?

You hardly ever spend your everyday life together, unless you are on vacation, but that's not everyday life! You will probably only find out how your partner behaves in everyday life, what quirks they have, and what habits they insist on when you live in the same city or move in together.

2. Long-distance relationships involve financial costs

Unfortunately, long-distance relationships also come with certain costs. Travel expenses can add up, depending on how often you want to see each other and how far apart you live.

3. High pressure to plan

Regardless of how organized you are, in a long-distance relationship you always have to plan well in advance. After all, you have a thousand other things to plan, such as friends and family you also want to see. There is always a feeling of “I have to” behind it.

4. Loneliness and jealousy

A long-distance relationship can quickly break down due to loneliness and jealousy. For many, this is not the ideal form of relationship. The loneliness of not having your partner with you in the evenings after work can be very depressing for many people. But jealousy, or not knowing where your partner is and what they are really doing, can also become a deadly sin in the relationship.

5. Lack of spontaneity

Just driving to the lake on a whim—how nice would that be?! Unfortunately, this is not possible, as the high pressure to plan also leads to a lack of spontaneity.

6. Long-distance relationships mean a high emotional burden

You don't see each other often and have to put a lot of trust in the relationship. The emotional strain is extremely high, especially at the beginning and during the infatuation phase.

7. Physical longing

Of course, sex also plays a role—but the physical longing has to last until the next meeting. The desire for intimacy and affection makes many people in long-distance relationships sad and leads to loneliness.

8. Integration into the circle of friends

You've all heard about your partner, but getting to know them becomes a real mammoth task. Of course, being there once is not enough to become established in your partner's circle of friends. And it's not a nice feeling for yourself either when you can only talk about your partner, but they are never there.

11 tips for a happy long-distance relationship

Now you know the biggest advantages and disadvantages of a long-distance relationship, but the question remains: how do you actually maintain a good long-distance relationship? It's simple: with these 11 tips, you can do it.

1. Avoid excessive communication

If you are in a long-distance relationship, you don't have to be in contact with each other 24/7. This causes more stress than joy for both parties. It's perfectly fine if you don't have anything to say to each other for a few hours. Don't forget: less is more.

2. Try to get into a rhythm

An absolute must – write in the morning when you wake up and before you go to bed, for example. Even better: at the end of the day, give each other a quick update on what happened, what's new, and how you're doing. This gives you the feeling of being part of the whole.

3. Give something personal to hold on to

Whether it's a key ring, a ring, or a perfume that brings back memories. Don't we all try to immerse our material things in memories? Something small can mean so much to one person, while others see no value in it.

4. See your long-distance relationship as an opportunity

A long-distance relationship is a journey for both of you. At the same time, your love is being put to the test. Instead of thinking about how you are apart, try to see the good in it. If you want to live together, you should know what it's like to live without each other.

5. Talk openly

You should have a conversation about what your expectations are. Agree on ground rules for your long-distance relationship. Clarify questions such as “Are you exclusively together?” or “How often will you see each other?”

6. Do something together

Yes, we know that a long-distance relationship makes it extremely difficult to do things together. But we have some great ideas on how you can do something together despite the distance: read the same books and discuss TV shows, movies, news, etc. There are so many things you can talk about together.

7. Visit each other

One of the most important tips of all: visiting each other is, of course, the highlight of any long-distance relationship. The butterflies in your stomach will suddenly reappear, and you can finally kiss, hug, and do all the wonderful things you've been waiting for for so long. Whether it's in two weeks or two months.

8. Have a goal in mind

Of course, a long-distance relationship should not be forever. With a lot of organization, perseverance, and iron will, you can get through it for a certain period of time. But you should also talk openly about it and clarify questions such as “What about our future together?” or “How long will we be in a long-distance relationship?” A little tip on the side: develop a timeline together.

9. Know each other's schedules

Between work, household chores, and social life, scheduling can sometimes get out of hand. To prevent your partner from feeling neglected, it's helpful to let them know when you're very busy and don't have time. You should also share smaller and larger events such as birthdays or company parties with each other. Tip: A shared calendar is worth its weight in gold in a long-distance relationship.

10. Video calls – thank goodness for digitalization

Take advantage of the amazing technologies available today. Unlike many in the past, you no longer have to do without them. If you want, you can call and see each other whenever you want. Whether via FaceTime, WhatsApp calls, or similar, these technologies allow you to spend wonderful hours together.

11. Stay positive in your long-distance relationship

You need to convey positive energy to each other in a long-distance relationship. Yes, the wait can be very long and painful, and loneliness is anything but pleasant, but remember how wonderful it is to have someone you love. Your partner will be worth the wait, and in the end, you'll be happy to have mastered this time together.

The 9 most common problems in a long-distance relationship

1. Constant separation

Being together can create a feeling of “disappointment” when you are apart. You had such a good time when you were together that when you separate, you feel like you have lost something.

2. Division between relationship and family/friends

Being with your partner means spending time away from others (e.g., friends and relatives) or potentially neglecting other relationships. Therefore, the time spent apart is negatively affected (i.e., limited) by the needs, desires, and responsibilities of the romantic relationship. The time spent together takes a toll on other relationships.

3. Unresolved issues

Issues that were addressed during the time spent together are sometimes not resolved, so that the issues “linger” and remain unresolved or influence the time you spend apart.

Unresolved issues can linger in the meantime or actually be resolved in the meantime, making it a negative experience (e.g., destructive conflicts arise).

4. Adjustment

Time together puts you in a “groove” or pattern of being. When you are no longer physically together, you have to go through an adjustment phase to get used to being apart again (e.g., sleep patterns).

5. Pressure on quality and positivity

The separation in time creates this extreme need and pressure to have a good time when you are together. You feel that you have to have fun and often do unusual things when you are together because you are deprived of such activities in your free time or you feel that you have to “squeeze” activities into the short time you are together.

6. The short time span

The time span creates uncertainty and unfamiliarity because you cannot share your experiences (e.g., in person). This puts a special strain on the time you spend together (e.g., jealousy, insecurity, conflicts).

7. Being together

Being together is seen as the time when the relationship “really happens.” You feel that the time you spend together should be reserved for the relationship, but other issues are not so easy to ignore (e.g., work).

This makes it more difficult to make the time you spend together positive, as such issues need to be addressed, you think about them, and the “problems” (e.g., work) are imposed on you (e.g., your boss sends an angry email).

8. A long-distance relationship can create communication stress

Since you spend a lot of time apart, you spend a considerable amount of your time catching up on the future of the relationship, discussing it (e.g., “Where is this relationship going?”) and talking about plans for future time together (e.g., “What will we do next time?”).

These conversations can take up time when you are together that could be spent doing things together (e.g., going on a hike).

9. Different worlds

The time spent apart is the time when you can start to go your separate ways and change. When you are together, you begin to lose your connection and similarities. This, in turn, makes it difficult to connect your lives when you are together—because of the separate lives you live apart.

How often should you see each other in a long-distance relationship?

If you are in a long-distance relationship, or if one is developing, you have probably asked yourself this question more than once.

How often you see each other depends on a number of factors, such as the distance between you, your job (if you work in the healthcare industry, for example, you often have night shifts) and what you want.

If you want to see each other every weekend, that's wonderful. If you're more the type of person who is happy to see each other every 2 or 3 weeks, that's fine too.

You shouldn't ask yourself how often is good enough, but rather what you can arrange and what you want.

When does a relationship become a long-distance relationship?

Good question, and there's no straightforward answer! Whether a long-distance relationship starts at 20 km, 50 km, or 100 km is entirely up to you. Some people say 50 km is no distance at all. For others, however, 50 km is a long way.

At the latest when your partner is in another country, you know that you are definitely in a long-distance relationship.

Conclusion: A long-distance relationship can work!

With the right tips and tricks, you can have a happy long-distance relationship. So don't be put off if you meet someone who doesn't live in the same city as you. Rest assured that if you are right for each other, then love from a distance is not an obstacle, but a path to a happy future.