Finding the right partner: 5 mistakes to avoid and 7 tips to help you succeed

Somehow, something's not quite right: you regularly encourage your friends to join you in cafés and bars at the weekend to look for Mr. Right, but he just doesn't seem to cross your path. Why is that? Find out here what mistakes in your thinking are getting in the way of finding a partner and how you can still succeed.

Finding a partner: These 5 misconceptions are standing in your way

1. “Opposites attract.” - Not really

At first, someone who is the complete opposite of you may seem fascinating and exciting, but you probably won't be happy with someone like that for long. Another saying fits better here: Birds of a feather flock together. Our LemonSwan® method is also based on this assumption.

2. “My expectations must be met, otherwise it won't work.”

When you imagine your dream man, you have a clear picture in your mind: tall, blue eyes and dark hair, you already have a specific profession in mind, and he must be a Libra. Stop! If you want to find a partner with such specific expectations, you'll probably be searching for a long time.

3. “Nobody wants me anyway!”

Did you recently go on a date and he didn't get back to you? Don't let a negative outcome influence and bring you down. We tend to generalize such negative experiences, but the next man you meet has very little to do with the fact that your previous date didn't get back to you.

4. “I'm waiting for love at first sight.”

Love at first sight is a romantic idea that we all like to indulge in from time to time. However, this does not mean that you will find love at first sight in reality. So you are better off being open and trying to get to know someone first. And who knows, maybe it will be love at second sight.

5. “The right one will find me.”

Fortunately, the view that men have to make the first move is long outdated. However, there are still women who expect men to approach them and do not actively participate in finding a partner themselves. Unfortunately, in most cases, this means they will never find their dream man. It is much better to take the initiative when the opportunity arises.

Finally finding the right partner: these 7 tips will help you

1. Be mindful of your own charisma

Would you like to have a partner, but blame yourself for not having one? When you're out with friends, do you immediately think, “No one will talk to me anyway”? With that kind of attitude, it's not going to happen. That's why it's important to come to terms with yourself before you try to find a new partner.

2. Free yourself from any baggage

Have you just gone through a painful breakup and are you still attached to your ex? It's incredibly important to process this pain before you start looking for a new partner. Otherwise, baggage will only prevent you from fully committing to someone new in your life.

3. Don't leave anything to chance

If you prefer to spend your free time at home, don't be surprised if you find it difficult to find a partner. You can also help yourself to finally meet the right person: try out new cafés and bars, find a new hobby, go for walks in your favorite places, or check out the gym.

4. Think about what exactly you expect

To ensure that your own expectations don't slow you down in your search for a partner, it makes sense to think about these things. The best way to do this is to write a list: document all the qualities you want in a partner. Now cross off the qualities that you can do without in an emergency. Only those that are really indispensable to you should remain. Now you can confidently start looking for a partner.

5. Be brave

Are you afraid to approach a man and just hope that someone will approach you? With that attitude, you'll probably be waiting a long time for the right person. Be confident, flirt when the situation allows, and then go for it. Be brave!

6. Don't let it get you down

You mustered up all your courage and approached someone—and were rejected? Don't let setbacks like this discourage you. There could be a thousand reasons why this particular man wasn't interested in you. Don't dwell on it and move on to the next one. Maybe he'll be the man of your dreams.

7. Use the internet

Nowadays, online dating sites are the most effective way to look for a partner. The members' intentions are clear, you can find lots of information about the person in their profile, and you can filter out those who are not suitable. Want to find out more about the advantages? Then read on.

Where can I find a partner? These 6 places offer the best chances.

Of course, you can meet the right person anywhere. It often happens when we least expect it. According to a Statista survey, your chances are statistically best in these places:

Finding the right partner online: the advantages

1. Not much time for bars or cafés? No problem!

Do you have a demanding job and often don't feel like spending your free evenings at the weekend in bars looking for Mr. Right? Then online dating might be just the thing for you. Whether on your way to work, on the sofa in the evening, or just in between—you can always find a partner online whenever you have a free minute.

2. Online dating is unromantic? Not at all.

Let's be honest, when you talk to someone on the street and exchange numbers, you also write back and forth for a few days until you meet again. The only difference with online dating? You write to each other directly and then meet for the first time—and who says that can't be totally romantic?

3. Save yourself the small talk

When you meet someone, you usually make small talk first to get a better idea of who they are. You can save yourself this step when looking for a partner online: The profiles tell you so much about potential partners that you can immediately discuss common interests or personal goals, for example.

4. Filters make the search much easier

Is smoking a no-go for you? Then you can filter out smokers from the outset so that they are not even shown to you. That way, you know where you stand right away and there are no nasty surprises when you meet for the first time.

5. With an online dating site, the intention is clear

When you're out with friends and someone approaches you, it's not immediately clear what their intentions are. Do they really want to get to know you better, or are they just hoping to go home with you at the end of the evening? With an online dating site, it's clear: members are registered here to find a partner for life.

Conclusion: Let's go—find your dream partner

Become aware of any errors in your thinking and start your search for a partner with renewed vigor. If you have little free time or are simply curious, you should try online dating. You will be amazed at the many possibilities.

Here is an overview of how you can approach your search for the right person in a new way:

• Become aware of your own charisma.

• Free yourself from any baggage from the past.

• Don't leave anything to chance.

• Think about what exactly you expect.

• Be brave.

• Don't let yourself get discouraged.

• Use the internet.

And now it's your turn: put on your brightest smile and off you go!