Rose-colored glasses: how they affect us & tips for maintaining them
We've all worn them at some point: the infamous rose-colored glasses that make you see the world, and especially your partner, in the most beautiful light at the beginning of a relationship. In this phase of the relationship, you could hug the whole world with happiness and your partner finally seems to be the perfect match. But what exactly is behind the phenomenon of rose-colored glasses?
What happens to us when we see the world through rose-colored glasses?
We feel butterflies in our stomachs, hear angelic choirs singing, and everything seems perfect. A stressful day at work or a flat tire on the car can't bother us, because we feel like we could hug the whole world! But what exactly is happening beneath the surface, and what triggers this state of euphoria in us?
The rose-colored glasses explained scientifically
When we wear rose-colored glasses, the hormones in our body go completely crazy. A veritable cocktail of hormones causes us to be totally fixated on the object of our desire and we can even experience withdrawal symptoms when our loved one is not around. But what exactly happens in the body?
Stress hormones are released
Heart palpitations and butterflies when you see your loved one? This is when the body releases higher levels of adrenaline and cortisol. This makes us more impulsive and full of energy. Concentration can also suffer from the increased adrenaline levels.
The reward center is in constant use
When you are newly in love, you are in a similar state to being high on drugs. The dopamine level in the body is constantly high and you crave one drug: your partner. When they are back with you, the reward center goes into overdrive again.
Serotonin levels drop
Serotonin levels are at rock bottom when you're wearing rose-colored glasses. Because we are literally “fixated” on our partner, we suffer from withdrawal symptoms when our loved one is not around.
The “cuddle hormone” oxytocin is released
This hormone strengthens the bond between two people. Released mainly during sex (or when giving birth to your own child), it helps to turn the strong feeling of infatuation into lasting love.
Phenylethylamine makes your partner desirable
Phenylethylamine ensures that we cannot let go of our partner at the beginning of a relationship. Desire and sexual attraction are increased, ensuring an active sex life during the initial phase of falling in love.
Heartbreak = drug withdrawal?
After a breakup, our heartbreak resembles cold turkey, causing pain that can be compared to real physical pain. Loss of appetite and mild irritability are just some of the symptoms that can occur.
The body in a state of emergency
In summary, it can be said that during the period when we see the world through rose-colored glasses, we are in a state of absolute emergency. Friends often suffer from the hormone cocktail, as they are neglected during the period of new love. But how long does this state last?
How long do we wear rose-colored glasses?
This emotional state of emergency usually doesn't last too long. Normally, our view of our partner is clouded for between 6 weeks and 6 months. But what happens next? The foundation for a long-lasting, stable relationship is laid during the phase of exuberant infatuation. With rose-colored glasses on, it is easy for us to open up to our partner and get involved with them. Frequent sex also strengthens the bond at the beginning of the relationship.
What comes after the rose-colored glasses?
When we slowly begin to see our partner with all their little weaknesses and quirks, our bond with them is usually so strong that these things no longer surprise or bother us too much. In addition, we have gotten to know our partner so well by now that we were prepared for the rose-colored glasses to come off, and the “real” partner does not differ too much from our rose-colored ideal.
However, it can also happen that we project our own desires onto our new partner. In such a case, the arrival in reality can be a little more uncomfortable.
Maintaining the magic of rose-colored glasses: Here's how
After a few years together, you often become a well-coordinated team that has experienced a lot together and grown close. But almost everyone wants to feel that tingling sensation in their stomach again from time to time, which always accompanied them at the beginning of the relationship. So how do you manage to keep a little bit of those rose-colored glasses?
1. Show your appreciation with small gestures
Is your partner busy? Surprise them with a freshly cleaned apartment. Do they have an important meeting coming up? Write to them to say you're thinking of them and wish them luck. Did your partner mention that they'd like to see the new movie? Surprise them with tickets!
Many of these small gestures take very little time and effort, but they can have a big impact on a relationship, because mutual appreciation is an important foundation for a long and happy relationship.
2. Don't throw in the towel!
This tip is especially important in the phase between rose-colored glasses and a stable relationship. This is because during this time, most people discover quirks in their partner that weren't so noticeable before. This, in turn, can quickly lead to arguments. Even if you are not used to this, this phase is also part of a relationship. So don't let it get you down and emerge from this phase of your relationship stronger together with your partner.
3. Show understanding
Do some of your partner's quirks really get on your nerves? That's no reason to argue! Try to be understanding towards your partner and don't judge every action critically. This will make you and your partner less stressed and allow you to grow together.
4. Maintain your glow
At the beginning of a relationship, when you're newly in love and could embrace the whole world, you often hear your friends say, “Wow, you're glowing!” Once you've been together for a few months, these compliments usually stop and you no longer feel as electrified as you did at the beginning. But how can we maintain that glow even after a long relationship?
A fulfilling and exciting sex life can make you feel completely comfortable and sexy in your own body. Communication with your partner is important here. Talk about your desires and fantasies and try new things together. This will keep your relationship from becoming boring and you will radiate your happiness to the outside world.
Conclusion: Keep the magic of rose-colored glasses alive
The time when we see the world and, above all, our partner through rose-colored glasses is unique and wonderful. A whole cocktail of hormones inside us ensures that we feel a huge swarm of butterflies in our stomach and would love to be with our new partner around the clock. During this time, the bond with our partner strengthens, and even when the rose-colored glasses fade, the initial feeling of infatuation turns into deep love.
However, it is important that we retain a small part of the magic so that this love remains alive and we are still closest to our partner even after many years. But now it's time to enjoy the feeling of being in love. We wish you good luck!
