Equality yes, but not when getting to know someone?
The majority of German singles view traditional courtship rituals positively and simultaneously desire a relationship based on equality
Hamburg, September 29, 2021. He pays the bill and holds the door open for her – are these traditional customs no longer valid today? Many singles in Germany disagree: According to a recent representative survey by YouGov on behalf of the online dating agency LemonSwan, more than 44 percent of singles aged 18 and over who were surveyed said that conservative dating rituals are not a must, but are viewed positively. For 13 percent, they are even important. At the same time, however, one in three singles (33%) is looking for a partnership of equals. So is getting to know someone excluded here?
Single women view supposed gentlemanly behavior more positively than men do. Overall, 51 percent of women without a partner said that it is not a must, but that they perceive it positively when a man holds the door open or pulls out a chair. Women over the age of 55 are the frontrunners in this regard, at 56 percent. For around 12 percent, such behavior is an absolute must. At the same time, almost one in five (19%) single women consider old rituals for getting to know someone to be outdated and unimportant, while 11 percent don't care about them at all.
Single men are less focused on conservative dating rituals than those in relationships
And how do single men see it? Overall, traditional dating rituals are less important to them. More than a quarter (28%) find them outdated and unimportant. More than one in three (37%) do not consider it a must, but do view it positively when a man acts like a gentleman during the getting-to-know-you phase. Interestingly, single men generally attach less importance to traditional rituals than men who are in relationships: one in five of the men in relationships consider it important, while 44 percent consider it a positive sign.
Sabine Schöler, CEO of LemonSwan, evaluates the results:
"The fact that many people view conservative rituals during the getting-to-know-you phase – he courts her and pays, she is more passive and lets herself be courted – as positive, but not a must, shows where we currently stand socially in terms of romantic relationships. We are still influenced by old patterns and rituals, but at the same time there is also a shift in roles. Because when it comes to finding a long-term partner after the initial getting-to-know-you phase, the majority of Germans want to find someone they can meet on equal terms, who makes decisions together with them and with whom they share attitudes and values. And issues such as shared housework and care time, as well as the equal importance of both partners' jobs and interests, are also an integral part of relationships today."
One in three singles wants a relationship on equal terms, one in four wants freedom
Schöler's assessment is also confirmed by the survey results: a significant proportion of singles in Germany, 33 percent, are looking for a partnership on equal terms. Almost as many (30%) want an equal relationship. A quarter of the singles surveyed think it is important that their next partner gives them freedom. These expectations go hand in hand with the desire for a long-term relationship. Even in the age of swipe dates and the like, quick flings are out of the question for many Germans: two in five singles (39%) want a long-term partnership.
Singles, especially younger ones, are looking for someone to grow old with
A look at the results of the question about how long the next relationship should last shows what long-term means. Here, too, two out of five singles (38%) say they are looking for someone to grow old with. Younger singles in particular long for a relationship that will last into old age: half (50%) of 25- to 34-year-olds and more than half (56%) of 35- to 44-year-olds said exactly that. Accordingly, many people expect a good online dating service to connect them with singles who also want a long-term relationship – this is what one-third (men: 37%,
women: 36%) want.
Methodology:
The data used is based on an online survey conducted by YouGov Deutschland GmbH on behalf of
LemonSwan, in which 4,049 people (including 1,335 singles) aged 18 and over took part between July 9 and July 15, 2021. The results were weighted and are representative of the German population aged 18 and over.
About LemonSwan
LemonSwan is a dating agency for long-term relationships that aims to make online dating more enjoyable, especially for women.
Founded in 2017 by Arne Kahlke and Paul Uhlig, the Hamburg-based company uses a scientifically based personality test, the LemonSwan® method, to provide tailor-made partner suggestions.
The trademark of the young company is the swan—because these animals are faithful to their partners for life. For more information, visit www.lemonswan.com
LemonSwan press team:
