How to flirt properly – 10 tips & 8 no-gos on a first date

Learning how to flirt properly. Many singles dream of this. A funny remark, a little wink, or a nice smile. It sounds so easy, yet it is often so difficult. We have good news for all flirting dyslexics: good flirting has nothing to do with talent. Here, too, practice makes perfect. We'll show you how to learn to flirt in just a few steps, where it works best, and what everyone who flirts should definitely keep in mind.

Flirting on a first date – 10 tips

1. Eye contact

A look says more than a thousand words. This also applies to flirting. If you don't know the other person yet, even a brief, intense eye contact can actually create a feeling of affection and sympathy.

2. Less is more when flirting

Feel free to show that you are interested, but don't reveal everything about yourself right away. Instead, ask more detailed questions when he tells you something about himself. This will make you seem mysterious and keep you interesting.

3. Attentive body language

Body language is also crucial when flirting. By facing your body toward the other person and maintaining an open posture, you signal your interest.

4. Show closeness—not just physically

Tell them something personal about yourself. This will help you build closeness and create a familiar atmosphere.

5. Teasing is loving

Affectionate teasing and gentle banter can be a very refreshing ingredient in flirting. The best way to win over men is with cheeky and daring banter. Women like it a little more subtle. A little teasing or a nice joke is more appropriate than a direct comment.

6. Light touches as a flirting signal

Nothing is as effective when flirting as physical contact. Let your date know that you find them attractive by lightly touching their arm, back, or hand. But be careful! Of course, don't overdo it! Otherwise, your date might feel pressured.

7. Compliments – but subtle

Who doesn't like to hear something nice about themselves? Tell your date what you like about them. But don't overdo it, or you'll quickly come across as insincere.

8. Positive attitude

This may not sound like a real flirting tip at first, but it's still immensely important. Be optimistic and mentally prepare yourself for a great date. Why do you think the other person wants to meet you? Can't you think of at least three reasons off the top of your head that make you a lovable person? Then you still have some catching up to do in terms of positive attitude before the date. Grab a pen and paper and think about it for a moment.

9. Learning to flirt – practice makes perfect

Are you aware that you tend to be shy and often don't know what to say or how to behave on dates? Then why not practice the situation at home in front of the mirror beforehand? With the right preparation, you're sure to succeed.

10. Naturalness wins

The most important thing is, of course, to be yourself. Everyone is nervous on a first date; that's perfectly normal. If you try to cover up your nervousness with exaggerated self-confidence, you will quickly come across as arrogant or dismissive.

Flirting correctly – what to consider when choosing a location

Flirting is very situational. An attempt at flirting that is appropriate in one situation may be completely inappropriate in another. Depending on where you go on your first date, there are certain things you should keep in mind:

1. At a restaurant

Going out to eat on a first date – this is the classic choice for most lovebirds. And not without reason! A romantic dinner for two is a particularly good setting for flirting. You are alone and have plenty of time to talk at length. You can make a good impression here with a little teasing or banter and deep looks.

2. Flirting properly in a bar

After a lovely dinner, neither of you wants to go home yet and you decide to continue the evening in a bar. With dim lighting, good music, and perhaps a little alcohol, we all like to flirt. However, a bar is not the right place for a long conversation. Therefore, focus more on nonverbal flirting tactics such as:

• Intense eye contact

• A quick wink

• Open body language

• Warm laughter

3. Walk or picnic in the park

A romantic walk or a nice picnic in the park? It almost feels like a vacation. And everyone knows that vacation is a great time to flirt. These locations offer a good opportunity for casual conversation. - A little physical contact is not out of the question.

4. Visit to a museum or gallery

This is particularly suitable for the more shy and reserved singles among you. Even if you don't talk the whole time, there won't be any awkward silences. A quick smile or a little shop talk about the exhibition and the ice cream will quickly break the ice. Hands-on museums, such as a chocolate museum, offer a particularly good opportunity for casual flirting. Here, you can both make your own chocolate. That way, you'll also have a sweet souvenir of your first date.

5. Billiards, bowling, darts, etc.

These popular pub sports also offer great opportunities for playful flirting. There is a relaxed and usually fun atmosphere with plenty of opportunities for harmless physical contact. Another advantage: the focus is on the game! So you can talk, but you don't have to the whole time.

6. Unusual locations for flirting

As a general rule, unusual ideas for a first date create the perfect basis for successful flirting. How about geocaching, karaoke, or black light mini golf, for example? These sound really interesting in themselves, so the flirting is sure to come naturally.

8 red flags when flirting

1. Dishonesty

On a first date, people often embellish a little to impress their dream partner with spectacular stories about themselves. But the point should be to find someone who likes you just the way you are. Dishonesty when flirting is an absolute no-go.

2. Red flag: Narcissism when flirting

Many women like confident men. However, if confidence turns into self-love and bragging, it's an absolute flirting killer. Who wants to listen to endless monologues about how great the other person is? Let the other person find out for themselves what's special about you! This makes flirting all the more exciting and interesting.

3. Hands off your cell phone

Another important flirting rule is: when dating, keep your cell phone turned off and in your pocket. Talking on the phone or constantly checking your messages during a date is simply rude. It gives the other person the impression that the date is not important to you at all. The only exception: take out your cell phone to take a selfie of the two of you. Homemade photos are a great opportunity to get a little closer.

4. Cover up awkward silences

For many people, the famous awkward silence is the nightmare of a first date. But when we try to fill this silence, we quickly start talking nonsense. Actually, a few quiet moments during a date can even be positive. Take this opportunity to look deep into his eyes. Or give him a little smile. Always remember: kissing only works when neither of you is talking.

5. Chewing gum while flirting

Did you have garlic bread with aioli for lunch and now you have a spontaneous date tonight? Then you'd better pop in some gum. You don't want to scare your date away with bad breath as soon as you say hello. Great idea, but be sure to take it out before the date. Many people find chewing gum in their presence unpleasant and rude. It also gets in the way of talking and kissing. Chewing gum is therefore another red flag.

6. Bad pick-up lines

“I lost my number, can I have yours?” “Hey, sweetheart, taken yet?” With lines like these, you'll scare almost any woman away. No woman wants to hear memorized lines that countless others have heard before. An absolute no-go.

7. Red flag: Too much alcohol

Of course, a little alcohol can help lighten the mood, especially when both parties are very nervous. But if you have too much, it can quickly backfire. It can be particularly embarrassing if only one of you is a little tipsy. Therefore, it can be helpful to match your drink choice to your date. If both of you order something alcoholic, there's nothing wrong with one or two drinks. If your date sticks to water or soda, you should also hold back.

Drinking to give yourself courage before the meeting is also strongly discouraged. If you smell of alcohol when you greet your date for the first time, it can quickly give the wrong impression.

8. Bringing someone else

Bringing your best friend to a first date is an absolute no-go, even if you are nervous or unsure. This also applies if they are just dropping you off and then leaving! Showing up with another person gives your date the impression that you don't trust them.

Flirting with friends and colleagues

You've always been just acquaintances or colleagues, but now the spark has suddenly ignited and you're going on your first date. If you've known each other for a long time on a friendly basis, then you'll need to use a few different tactics when flirting. An intense gaze or a shy smile is not enough here. You need to send clearer flirting signals. Verbal messages are particularly well suited for this. Pay compliments and tell your date how much you are enjoying the meeting.

In summary: The dos and don'ts of flirting