Avoiding the friend zone and escaping it—the 14 most important tips

Men and women often find themselves caught in the ambivalent trap between friendship and love faster than they would like. Fortunately, however, you are not helpless in this situation, because there are a few things you can do to avoid the dreaded friend zone.

What is the friend zone?

Of course, you can only avoid the friend zone if you know what it is all about.

The term “friend zone” applies when a man and a woman are very good friends, but one of them actually hopes for more than just friendship. That person then finds themselves in the other's friend zone, labeled as a good buddy and friend instead of a potential romantic partner.

Incidentally, the term originally comes from the cult 80s series “Friends,” which is still very popular today.

Generally speaking, there are two different types of friend zones:

1. The friendly date

This type of friend zone is particularly tricky. You both find each other attractive, have already been on a few dates, but somehow things haven't progressed any further. If you miss the moment to get closer, the initial romance quickly turns into a familiar friendly atmosphere and you're right in the middle of the friend zone.

2. The good friend

Men are particularly affected by the second type. You've been friends with a woman for a long time and get along great, but you actually want to be more than just her best friend, which she unfortunately doesn't realize.

Are you in the friend zone? - The self-test

Are you wondering whether you're stuck in the friend zone with the woman of your dreams? Find out with this quick self-test.

How to avoid the friend zone: 8 tips

Of course, you can't force anyone to fall in love with you. Nevertheless, there are a few things you can do to avoid ending up in the friend zone. These 10 tips can help.

1. Make a good first impression

You can achieve a lot with a good first impression. Wear something nice for your date to show that you've put some thought into it and that this meeting is special to you. This will make it clear from the outset that you're interested in more than just friendship.

2. Meet her alone

How do you expect to convey to the woman of your dreams that you really care about her if you only ever meet her in a group? She will quickly come to the conclusion that your relationship is only on a friendly basis. If you want to avoid the friend zone, meet her alone.

3. Choose the right place for your date

Always hanging out at home, studying, or meeting up for a kebab is not helpful if you want to avoid the friend zone. Seize your chance and plan a very special date. Invite her to a romantic dinner or surprise her with a nice picnic in the park. This way, you can easily avoid the friend zone.

4. Give her clear compliments

Compliments like “nice dress” or “I like your new shoes” sound more like something you would say to your best friend. If you want to avoid the friend zone, you should give her very clear compliments. Say something about her beautiful eyes, how cute her smile is, or how much you enjoy spending time with her.

5. Clarify the situation

If you want to avoid the friend zone, it's important to communicate this clearly to her from the outset. Building a friendship first and then trying for more later on tends to backfire in most cases. Feel free to tell her on the second or third date that you can imagine more than just a good friendship with her.

6. Look her in the eyes

A look says more than a thousand words. So let your eyes do the talking to tell the woman of your dreams how you feel. That way, she'll quickly know where she stands with you and won't even think of putting you in the friend zone.

7. Be a gentleman

Old-fashioned clichés aside, to avoid the friend zone as a man, you should feel free to act like a gentleman. Hold the door open for her, offer her your jacket, and pay the bill at the restaurant. With these small but subtle gestures, you can easily make it clear that this was not a friendly meeting, but a real date.

8. Make sure there is physical contact

What distinguishes a good friendship from a relationship? Physical contact, in any case. If you want to avoid the friend zone, you should definitely establish this. Of course, tact and sensitivity are important here. Under no circumstances should you pressure the woman! Briefly hold her hand when you're talking to her or lightly touch her arm when you're walking. Only if you feel that she is comfortable with this should you take it a step further.

Escaping the friend zone: how to do it

Despite all your caution, you've fallen into the friendship trap and now you're asking yourself, “How do I get out of the friend zone?” These 5 tips will help you do just that:

1. Rethink your behavior

To escape the friend zone, the first step is to take a close look at your own behavior. What contributed to you slipping into the friend zone and how could you change these behaviors? Even small changes in how you interact with your friend can suddenly make her perceive you very differently. Give it a try.

2. Change something about your appearance

How about a makeover? Go to the hairdresser or buy yourself a few new outfits.

Often, even small changes in your appearance can cause you to be perceived in a completely different light.

3. Ask her out on a date

Has the woman of your dreams labeled you as a “good buddy”? You don't have to just accept that. Show her clearly that you are interested in more and ask her out on a date.

4. Meet up with other people

Don't worry, this doesn't mean you should just forget about the woman of your dreams, but if you've ended up in the friend zone, it can be helpful to meet up with other potential partners again. This will help you practice flirting and at the same time make your girlfriend a little jealous when she realizes that your world no longer revolves solely around her.

5. Boost your self-confidence

People who find themselves in the friend zone typically try to please their dream partner and would do anything for them. Not only does this damage your self-confidence, it also leads to you quickly being taken for granted.

Boost your self-confidence and stand up for your own interests.

For example, next time, simply decide when and where you will meet, cancel an appointment if it doesn't suit you, or take a little more time to reply to their message.

Sometimes something has to be missing before we realize how much we miss it.