Online dating: How it works, reasons, security, and how to use it
Are you interested in online dating, but don't know exactly what the right choice for you is and whether you're ready for it? We can satisfy your thirst for knowledge.
Find out which provider is the best choice for you, what you should look out for, and how online dating works.
These 8 signs indicate that you are ready to start looking for a partner online
1. You don't have time
You simply don't have time to find a suitable partner in your everyday life. Everyday stress increases considerably after graduation, so you are constantly rushing between the office, sports, family, and friends. On the evenings when you do have an hour to spare, you prefer to relax. How convenient that you can use online dating from anywhere. All you need is your cell phone and the internet.
2. Loneliness
...
and it's actually involuntary. Great exhibitions, plays, or a new club beckon, but most of your friends now prefer to spend their evenings at home with their new babies.
If you feel that being alone is getting to you and you constantly imagine how you would spend your time with a partner instead, then now is the perfect time to start looking for a partner online.
3. No more annoying party flirts
When you were a student, the dating scene in smoky bars was great fun, but today those weekends of partying with constantly changing companions are a thing of the past.
You would prefer to approach your search for a partner in a more relaxed and targeted manner—preferably from the comfort of your own sofa. With online dating, this is easy! Take your time clicking through the photos and profiles—with a relaxing glass of wine. You don't have to drink up your courage here.
4. You don't meet anyone new anymore
During your studies, you felt like you met ten new, interesting people every week—but the older you got, the fewer these acquaintances became.
So it's getting harder and harder to meet someone new to fall in love with. With online dating, you have the opportunity to meet as many people as you want, far away from geographical or social boundaries, until you find the right one.
5. The office has become your home
Do you sit at your desk until late in the evening and turn on the coffee machine first thing in the morning? Are you currently at an important point in your career, or perhaps you escape to the office to avoid being alone at home?
In any case, you work so much that you no longer have time to go to the gym or even relax in a café. This reduces your chances of meeting someone to a minimum. You won't make any new acquaintances at the office.
Unless, that is, you search for your dream partner online. This way, you can use the time you spend at the office during your breaks to look for a partner.
6. No more annoying attempts at matchmaking
At regular intervals, invitations arrive inviting you to join your good friends, and coincidentally, another single person is also present and you all enjoy cooking together.
Your friends mean well: they have noticed that you are suffering from being alone and want to set you up with someone. Unfortunately, this can be very unpleasant and embarrassing and can also strain the friendship if, for example, your friends are way off the mark with their matching judgment.
7. You know what you want
In the past, you could easily overlook major differences between you and your partner: whether he or she liked to be awake in the early hours of the morning, while you preferred to snooze your alarm 10 times.
Your partner prefers to always be around people, while you enjoy spending time at home. All these small and large differences didn't used to matter so much, and often you didn't even know exactly what your own desires and expectations for a relationship were.
Today, you have more clarity and it's becoming increasingly difficult to find someone suitable. In this respect, online dating is a lot easier:
8. You haven't flirted in a long time
Flirting used to be as natural as breathing: whether crossing the street, on the train, or in a café, you used to have nice eye contact, a smile, or a nice conversation almost every day. Nowadays, these little moments of flirting have disappeared from your everyday life—you've lost the desire for them, but you still miss those little gestures.
Online dating offers an easy way to make contact and, what's more, a much higher chance that it won't stop there.
How does online dating work?
The vast world of online dating can be roughly divided into three categories. Each category has different requirements and functions.
1. Online matchmaking
Online matchmaking is primarily for singles who are interested in a long-term, meaningful relationship. That's why you have to fill out a detailed personality test based on scientific standards right at the beginning. This lays the foundation for your partner suggestions.
So: honesty is the best policy, stay authentic so that the sophisticated matching algorithm can find the right sweetheart for you. However, you have to make the first contact and continue the communication yourself.
2. Dating sites
Dating sites focus on flirting—it's all in your hands. Here, you can write to each other, flirt, get to know each other, and, if you want, maybe even meet up. So you have to take action yourself. Unlike with matchmaking services, you use various filters to decide who is best suited to you. This means there is no pre-selection through matching.
3. Casual dating
As the name suggests, casual dating focuses on more relaxed and open relationships. This is the right option for you if you are looking for something informal. Registration is very simple.
Within a very short time, you will find yourself on the platform and receive “matches,” which you can narrow down using certain filters. The principle? Simply swipe right or left. This signals either interest or that you want to move on to the next match.
How much does online dating cost?
Here, too, the more expensive option is the one that offers the most services.
The highest costs are definitely associated with a dating agency. This is mainly due to the scope of what is offered to you. The development of the matching principle, the provision of customer service, the monitoring of profiles and verification of the highest level of reliability and your personal security are all guaranteed.
In addition, you receive individual partner suggestions that are precisely tailored to you, your personality, and your wishes and interests.
A positive side effect? Singles who are only looking for one thing or seeking short-term relationships are deterred by the costs. This means you can be sure that only singles with serious intentions are registered with dating agencies.
At LemonSwan, for example, single parents, trainees, and students can enjoy a free premium membership. - Provided you meet certain criteria and can prove your status.
Dating sites often have little or no cost to you. For example, you can buy a top position in the search results or receive top suggestions yourself for a fee. For an additional charge, you can also unlock more features to filter and search even more actively.
Casual dating is usually free. With most providers, you can purchase add-ons to unlock certain features and become even more active.
Premium or gold memberships, which cost significantly less than dating agencies, also allow you to use many small features. These include, for example, undoing swipes, only being shown to users you have liked yourself, searching in a different location, seeing who has liked you without a match, and giving super likes per day.
So many providers—which one is right for my search for a partner?
Partnervermittlung | Singlebörse | Casual-Dating |
Wunsch nach einer ernsthaften Beziehung | Suche nach Flirts und lockeren Kontakten | Mitglieder suchen nach zwanglosen Flirts und Abenteuer |
Persönlichkeitstest erforderlich | Meist kein Persönlichkeitstest | Kein Persönlichkeitstest |
Kontaktvorschläge individuell zugeschnitten | Kontakte finden erfolgt in Eigenregie | Kontakt finden häufig mittels Swipen in Eigenregie |
Ausgeglichenes Mitgliederverhältnis | Männer meist leicht im Überschuss; | Häufiger Männerüberschuss; |
Höhere Kosten | Niedrige bis mittlere Kosten | Meist kostenlos bis mittlere Kosten; Option auf Zusatzkäufe |
How many people search for love online?
The trend toward online dating is growing. Worldwide, over 400 million people use online dating services. And the number of people who will meet online continues to grow. By 2023, the number will rise to approximately 670 million.
Safety when looking for a partner online
An online dating agency such as LemonSwan pays particular attention to ensuring a safe and relaxed partner search. Each profile is individually checked for authenticity. This ensures that no fake profiles or romance scammers get onto the platform.
Special rules apply to online dating, and anyone who does not comply with them will not be allowed onto the platform. Just like in a good club, they check who fits in and who doesn't.
Singles sites and casual dating apps, on the other hand, often have to contend with fake profiles and romance scammers. Since these types of online dating sites don't adhere so strictly to certain standards and rules, it's easier for scammers to get onto the platform. That's why you should be especially careful about what you reveal to whom and when.
As a general rule, however, it's important to keep a healthy eye on everything. As soon as something seems strange to you, you should inform the platform, ideally via customer service. It can always happen that a scammer or fraudster slips through the net or that it is very difficult to tell whether someone is real or fake.
If you notice anything unusual in your correspondence, report the profile immediately, and if you are asked to transfer money, do not do so under any circumstances. The companies cannot and are not allowed to view your private chat histories in Messenger, which is why they rely on your assistance.
Online dating: 4 tips to keep in mind
Despite careful screening, we unfortunately cannot completely prevent unscrupulous members from registering from time to time.
Removing such members takes time and requires the help of the community. Here we show you what to look out for in order to identify black sheep as quickly as possible.
1. A consistent profile
Read the information and answers on the profile carefully, look out for inconsistencies, and listen to your gut feeling.
In many cases, a second glance is enough to identify questionable individuals. If you are still unsure, remain vigilant when communicating in person, at least for the time being.
2. Your personal data
Your data is not visible to anyone at first. You decide when you want to disclose your phone number or email address—this also applies to the activation of your photos on dating sites.
For security reasons, you should never give out your address until you have started meeting regularly.
As the relationship progresses, it is best to listen to your gut feeling to decide when you are ready to take the next step. If someone presses you on this point or becomes rude, you can confidently remove them from your list.
3. Be careful with finances
As already mentioned, scamming attacks sometimes occur on online platforms. In these cases, trust is built up step by step until you are finally asked for financial help.
You should always be wary of this, because it is not really an emergency, but rather a deliberate manipulation. In such cases, always advise your contact to turn to friends, family, or their bank.
If he or she still does not stop asking you for money, please break off contact immediately and inform us via customer service.
4. Help with customer service
Your personal and financial security is very important to us. Therefore, please contact us directly if problems arise or if something worries you—we will take care of it immediately.
Dealing with doubts: 4 tips for the initial phase of online dating
The first few weeks of online dating are often accompanied by a certain amount of ambivalence.
On the one hand, you are excited about all the new opportunities that are opening up and are full of anticipation—on the other hand, there are doubts, perhaps even fears, that stand in your way.
Here we present ways in which you can deal with any concerns that arise.
1. What if something goes wrong?
Many of us tend to overthink things, especially when it comes to finding the partner of our dreams: Will this really work on the internet? What if it doesn't work out? What if I fail?
It's perfectly normal to think twice before taking a step in a new direction. But don't let these questions paralyze you.
The fact is: if you don't do anything, nothing will change—and is that really an option? Take the risk and try something new! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
2. Nobody wants me anyway!
People who remain single for a long time often develop doubts about their own attractiveness over time. Many eventually ask themselves whether they are lovable and desirable at all, or even convince themselves that they will never find a partner.
Don't let such thoughts consume you! Just because you haven't found true happiness yet doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
You should leave your previous experiences and disappointments behind you as far as possible. Believe that things can be different.
3. What if I lose control?
Perhaps you are simply afraid of ending up with someone who suddenly leaves you no room to breathe. These worries usually stem from past experiences.
Then it helps to remember that you can stop and leave at any time. Furthermore, not every problem means that you are not compatible or doomed to an unhappy relationship. If you communicate well with each other, that is often enough to successfully change your situation.
It is also important to remember that you are not helplessly at the mercy of the dating machine once you have started. The opposite is true: only a moving ship can be steered. The best way to stay in control of your situation is to take action!
4. Online dating: it takes forever!
Of course, no one can tell you with 100% certainty how long your online search will take. This is mainly because we cannot reliably predict everything—for example, whether you will be compatible.
Of course, we also have no influence on whether you will ultimately fall in love with each other.
That's why it takes a certain amount of trial and error online before you find love—and how quickly that happens depends not least on chance.
In general, however, it can be said that the online route offers a significantly higher and faster success rate than the “real life” route, which is almost entirely dependent on luck.
And who knows? Many members already feel butterflies in their stomachs when they meet for the first time.