Separation despite love: 10 reasons to break up even though you love each other
A breakup despite love? Why end a long-term relationship when both partners love each other? True love, the foundation of every functioning relationship, can overcome many obstacles, but unfortunately not all of them. We'll show you 10 reasons to end a relationship despite love, and in which situations there is still a second chance for love.
10 reasons for breaking up despite love
True love can overcome many obstacles, but not all of them. Here are 10 reasons why breaking up is advisable despite love and a long relationship.
1. One person loves more than the other
You give everything to your relationship, but your partner rarely gives anything back? A particularly common reason why couples break up despite love is when one person loves more than the other.
Say goodbye to the wishful thinking that your partner will eventually love you as much as you love them if you just wait long enough. Even if it is painful and often unfair, you cannot force feelings. If the love in your relationship is unbalanced, then you should consider breaking up despite love.
Because the most important thing is that you don't forget your own needs in the midst of all the love. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them.
2. Separation after a long relationship due to differing desires to have children
At a certain age, many couples face the crucial question: Do we want children or not? If children are an absolute must for one person but unimaginable for the other, this can be a good reason to end a long relationship, even if you love each other.
3. Broken trust
Whether in friendship or partnership, trust is the foundation of any functioning relationship. Cheating and affairs can destroy this foundation in a partnership in the long term. Once you have been betrayed, it is often very difficult to get the thought out of your head that it could happen again.
However, a lack of trust does not necessarily mean a lack of love. But if the breach of trust was too great and you see no way of overcoming it, then you should be honest with yourself about this. Ending the relationship despite your love is the only way out here.
4. Different attitudes to life can lead to separation
While at the beginning of a relationship you are still floating on cloud nine and everything around you seems perfect, at some point reality catches up with you and different attitudes to life can become apparent.
You are active, always on the go, and want to achieve and experience a lot in your life. He, on the other hand, is more of a homebody, prefers to sit on the couch with a pizza on Friday night rather than meet up with friends, and has few career goals. No matter how much you love each other, if your attitudes towards life are too different, breaking up often seems to be the only way out.
5. Long-distance relationship
A long-distance relationship is not for everyone. While some people have no problem with rarely seeing their partner, others need physical closeness. If one or both partners are unhappy in a long-distance relationship in the long term, then unfortunately a breakup is often the result, despite their feelings.
6. Breaking up when the relationship is not good for you
“I always fall in love with the wrong people!” Do you know this phrase all too well? Feelings can be quite complicated sometimes. Why do we sometimes fall in love with people even though we know they are not good for us or even hurt us? This is what happens in a toxic relationship, for example. Think about yourself and your health and end such relationships, even if you still have feelings for the other person.
7. Separation despite love due to violence
Unfortunately, violence in relationships is still not uncommon today. In Germany, there are almost 150,000 cases of domestic violence every year.
Even if you love your partner and there are many beautiful moments in your relationship, if they are violent, you should end the relationship. Don't convince yourself that it's your fault if your partner sometimes becomes violent. Physical or emotional violence is an absolute no-go in any relationship.
If you are afraid, turn to family and friends or contact one of the numerous emergency services, such as the helpline for violence against women or Weisser Ring violence against men.
8. Different views on relationships
Do you dream of lifelong fidelity, while he is looking for an open relationship where he doesn't have to commit?
Of course, every good partnership involves compromise, but if your views on relationships are simply too different, then your future together has little chance of success. Even though you both love each other, it is better to break up before one of you gets hurt.
9. Addiction or dependency is a reason for breaking up despite love
Addictions and dependencies cause people to “no longer be themselves.” They start lying, stealing, or in the worst case, even become violent.
Gambling or shopping addiction, pill and drug addiction are serious mental illnesses, but fortunately, in most cases, they are curable. If your partner admits to their problems and is willing to get better, then support them and work together to find a way out of their illness. However, if they show no insight, then end the relationship for your own protection, even if you love them.
10. Pathological jealousy
Whether you are still in the honeymoon phase or have been in the relationship for a long time, jealousy occurs from time to time in almost every relationship. In itself, it is not a negative thing, because it basically just shows how important our partner is to us. But when jealousy becomes pathological, it can become a heavy burden on the relationship, so that in the end, despite love, separation is the only option. And this happens more often than you might think: 44% of women and 33% of men in Germany have broken up with someone because of jealousy.
Why do we avoid breakups? - 5 reasons
Although we know that it would be the right thing to do, we often tend to avoid breakups out of love. The following 5 reasons are the main causes of this:
1. Avoiding breakups out of fear of change
A breakup always means a big change in our lives. You have spent every free minute with your partner over the last few months or even years, and now it is supposed to be over from one moment to the next? It is only natural that this thought initially triggers a great deal of fear in you.
Let go of your fear and look positively toward the future. Breaking up always means change, but this does not have to be a bad thing; it can also open up completely new doors and opportunities.
2. Holding on to ideals
“Love forever and ever” and “until death do us part.” These beliefs are deeply ingrained in many people. Breaking up after a long relationship somehow seems morally wrong to you. Friends and family ask why and how. You have to explain and justify yourself.
Our tip: Free yourself from social constraints and do what is best for you.
3. Avoiding the pain of separation
Breakups are almost always painful. Especially when we still have feelings for the other person. We feel abandoned and deeply hurt. So it's understandable that we shy away from a breakup despite our love in order to avoid this painful experience.
But if you are honest with yourself, you probably already know that this avoidance strategy does not make sense in the long run. It is better to make it quick and painful and end the relationship if it is not good for you.
4. Fear of hurting the other person
If you are considering a breakup despite love for the reasons mentioned above, it is very important to remember one thing above all else: neither of you is to blame. Whether you want children or can cope with a long-distance relationship are personal views that you don't have to justify. Don't shy away from a breakup for fear of hurting your partner. If one of you is not happy in the relationship, then ending it despite love is the only solution.
5. Emotions are stronger than reason
We humans are simply not purely rational beings. We are driven by feelings and emotions, and we cannot always control them. For this reason, we sometimes do things that we know are not good for us.
Separation despite love—is there a second chance?
When couples separate even though both partners still have feelings for each other, it often happens that they give it another try after some time. But can this really work, or is a romantic comeback after a separation despite love doomed to failure from the outset?
Don't break up: Reasons for giving it a second chance
People can change. Maybe one of you just wasn't ready for a real long-term relationship at the time, wanted to enjoy life and didn't want to waste any thought on marriage or having children. Today, a few years later, things look very different? Then there's no reason not to give your love a second chance. Mutual love is definitely the best foundation for a happy relationship.
These arguments speak in favor of a breakup despite love
When you broke up with your partner even though you loved them, you surely had a good reason for doing so. If you now want to give it a second try, you should think carefully about it. Why did you break up with them back then? Have those reasons disappeared or do they still apply?
If the reasons for your breakup haven't changed, then a second attempt to build a relationship is unlikely to be successful.
Be honest with yourself: returning to your old relationship just because you don't want to be alone or because you cling to old-fashioned ideals is doomed to failure.
Are you ready for a new relationship? - The self-test
Breakups are always difficult. But breaking up with someone even though you still love them is definitely the ultimate challenge. It requires a lot of reason, strength, and above all, courage.
But once you've taken this step, you'll have a clear head for a new beginning, for a partnership on equal terms, in which you can finally find the happiness you deserve.
Take a short self-test to find out if you are ready for a new relationship.
