The 10 most common reasons for breakups & 10 tips to counteract them

Once the rose-colored glasses of the beginning of the relationship are gone and you find yourself in a phase of your relationship where you may be faced with problems, it is important to overcome them. If this is not possible, problems often turn into reasons for breaking up.

Here we have listed the top 10 reasons for breaking up and 10 tips on how you can prevent these reasons.

These are the top 10 reasons and causes for breakups

1. Infidelity as a reason for breakup

Infidelity can easily become an issue, especially in long-term relationships. When your relationship has become routine and there is a lull in the bedroom, it's easy to stray. For many couples, the breach of trust is too great and cheating ultimately leads to a breakup.

How should I behave if I have been cheated on?

If you have broken up with your partner after they cheated on you, you should make sure that you do not continue to hold a grudge against your partner or mourn them for a long time after the breakup. You have been hurt and should take time to feel anger and sadness, but this phase should not last forever. Start distracting yourself, talk to friends a lot, and look to the future with strength and optimism!

2. Reason for separation: No time for each other

In the beginning, you spent every free minute together and experienced a lot together. But whether it's a new, demanding job, a hobby that takes up a lot of time, or stress in other areas of life, you simply don't make time for each other anymore and just live side by side. This can eventually lead to a breakup.

How can I prevent this reason for breaking up?

Even if you both have stressful everyday lives, it's important to spend enough time with your partner without distractions such as cell phones or work. How about setting aside one evening a week that is just for the two of you? That way, you know when you have time for each other and can focus entirely on yourselves and your relationship. Here you will find countless creative ideas for things you could do with your partner.

3. Everyday arguments get out of hand

At first, you were able to smile and overlook your partner's little quirks, but the longer you are together, the more often your partner's bad habits drive you crazy. Whether it's different views on personal hygiene or tidiness in the home, there are countless points of friction in everyday life. If it's not possible to find compromises, even unwashed dishes can ultimately lead to separation.

What do we do now?

If you have different views on tidiness, it might help to assign specific tasks. This will give you more structure and even the more chaotic of the two will know exactly what to do. If you have different views on personal hygiene, you should not criticize your partner. Instead, make suggestions such as a joint wellness day or politely point out to your partner what is bothering you.

4. Different ideas about the future

If one partner has a strong desire to have children and the other is certain they do not want children, this can quickly lead to a breakup. Especially when both partners have very firm ideas, it becomes difficult to find compromises. Ideas such as having a certain number of children have a huge impact on the future—if it is impossible to agree on this, a breakup may really be the better option.

Perhaps the worst of all reasons for breaking up?

If differing ideas about the future were a reason for your breakup, it was certainly not an easy decision. In this situation, the love for your partner is usually still very strong. Now it is important to keep a clear view of the situation and to realize that the relationship would literally have had no future. That's why you shouldn't rush back to your partner – because in the end, the different ideas about the future will remain.

5. Lies and breach of trust

One or two lies have already been exposed in your relationship and have damaged mutual trust. Especially when small lies recur, the relationship can be permanently damaged and ultimately even lead to separation.

Can these behavior patterns be prevented?

Often, one partner's jealousy is a reason why the other partner prefers not to tell the whole truth for fear of arguments. In such a situation, it is important to recognize your own and the other person's behavior patterns and to talk openly about them. This can prevent you from falling into certain patterns that ultimately lead to separation.

6. Reason for separation: Lack of communication

If, for example, it often happens in your relationship that after an argument, you don't talk about it and you both just wait until the dust settles, a lack of communication can quickly become one of the reasons for separation.

How can I improve communication with my partner?

The most important thing here is to talk! Of course, it is important to use an appropriate tone of voice. But you should always share your thoughts and feelings with your partner, even if this sometimes seems difficult. This way, you can find solutions and compromises together without negative feelings building up.

7. Lack of affection

In a long-term relationship where routine has gradually set in, issues such as affection and romance often fall by the wayside. In the evening, everyone lies comfortably in a corner of the couch instead of cuddling up together, and sex becomes less and less frequent. If at some point all affection disappears, this can quickly become a reason for separation.

How can I rekindle tenderness in my relationship?

Just give your partner a hug or cuddle up with them on the sofa. Hold their hand when you're out and about and look deep into their eyes again. Such small gestures may not fit into your routine at first, but in the long run they can definitely make a difference and bring tenderness back into your relationship.

8. Lack of space

Feeling restricted is not good for any relationship. Whether it's because you share an apartment, have a mutual circle of friends, or have different needs for closeness, if one person in the relationship feels restricted, it quickly becomes one of the most common reasons for breaking up.

How can I give my partner more space?

To give your partner more space, or to get more space for yourself, it is advisable to agree on one or two fixed days a week when everyone has time to themselves. This eliminates the potential for conflict and gives everyone the space they need.

9. Jealousy as one of the top reasons for breakups

When an evening at the bar with your best friend becomes a problem or you frequently check your partner's cell phone and this ends in an argument, jealousy can quickly spell the end of a relationship. Low self-confidence or bad experiences in the past are often the triggers for this.

What helps against excessive jealousy?

Here, too, the keyword is communication. Especially if your partner has had bad experiences in the past, it is important to talk openly about fears, feelings, and desires. It is also important to find compromises so that both partners feel comfortable and can meet each other halfway.

10. Sadness in the bedroom

After a few years of being in a relationship or maybe after having your first kid, things can get a bit dull in the bedroom. But often, one partner has a stronger sex drive than the other, and that can lead to frustration. Even in long-term relationships when you're younger, a dull sex life can lead to the end of the relationship if one partner feels like they're missing out sexually.

How can we counteract the lull in the bedroom?

Talk as often as possible about what you like, what you feel like doing, and what you've always wanted to try. Whether it's workshops, books, or your own imagination, there are many ways to help your own libido and your partner's libido get back on track.

Avoiding reasons for separation—communication is key

The reasons that ultimately lead to separation can vary greatly. However, open and honest communication with your partner is essential to prevent most reasons for separation. As soon as something is bothering you in your relationship, you should seek dialogue and openly communicate your desires, fears, and feelings. This way, you can work together to find solutions and prevent the most common reasons for breakups.

And if the breakup has already happened?

Then you should definitely try to keep a cool head. Don't blame yourself and try to distract yourself as best you can. Spend time with friends and pursue your hobbies. You should also look back on your failed relationship so that you can learn from it and prevent similar situations in the future. After the end of a relationship, it is time to focus entirely on yourself so that you can emerge stronger from the situation and pursue your personal goals without distraction.