Is he interested? - How a man shows that he likes you
Whether it's texting or going on a first date, men and their feelings are a big mystery to most of us women. But how can you tell if he's really interested in you? We've summarized the most important signs and signals for you.
The first messages – how to tell if he's interested
You've received a promising partner suggestion and start chatting casually. He seems likeable, but now you're wondering: is he interested too? These 4 signs will tell you if he'd like to get to know you better:
1. He asks a lot of questions
Men who are only concerned with presenting themselves are usually looking for personal validation rather than a real relationship. If a man asks you a lot of questions, it's a clear sign that he's interested and would like to learn more about you.
2. He responds promptly
A man who is interested will respond regularly and promptly. If he only writes back every few days or responds very irregularly, then it's best to forget about him, because he is most likely not interested.
3. If he is interested, he will put effort into his responses
The way he writes also says a lot about a man. If he responds with long and detailed texts, then you're in luck. He's genuinely interested in you. On the other hand, short, monosyllabic messages full of typos or spelling mistakes tend to suggest the opposite. He doesn't seem to be very interested in you and therefore doesn't put much effort into his responses.
4. He asks to meet up
The clearest sign that he is interested or may even be a little in love with you is, of course, asking to meet up in person. But if he hasn't asked you out on a date after several weeks of messaging, don't be too quick to give up hope. If all the other signs indicate that he is interested, then he may just be shy or wants to treat you with extra respect.
Does he like me? This self-test provides clarity
Find out with 7 quick questions whether he really has feelings for you or not.
The first date – 5 clear signs that he is in love
Does he love me? Or does he not love me? Pay attention to these five signs the next time you meet:
1. He seeks eye contact
Men who are interested in a woman often can't take their eyes off her. If he constantly seeks eye contact with you, this is a clear sign that he is interested or perhaps even already in love.
2. A man in love leans towards you
Men also clearly show whether they love you or not through their body language. If he turns his body towards you or leans forward during the conversation, it means that he is attentive and wants to focus on you and the conversation with you. If, on the other hand, he turns away from you or crosses his arms, he seems to be rather uninterested.
3. He asks a lot of questions and remembers what you say
As with your first contact, if a man asks a lot of questions, it's a clear sign that he's interested. Just test him and ask him a question about something you've told him. A man who is interested in you will also remember what you say. But be a little lenient with him. Everyone is nervous on a first date, so it can happen that a man forgets something.
4. If he is interested, he will want to introduce you to his friends
Another clear sign of interest is when he talks about his friends and wants to introduce them to you. This shows that he really likes you, trusts you, and therefore wants to let you be a part of his life.
5. He asks to see you again or is already planning further activities
Jackpot! If he asks to see you again during your date, then you've done everything right. He is definitely interested in you and is well on his way to falling in love with you. However, many men are too shy to ask directly about the next date and therefore like to wrap their question in indirect hints.
For example, they might mention that you both like Italian food or have the same favorite TV series, and then casually suggest that you could do that together sometime. This is a typical sign that he is already in love but doesn't dare to ask directly.
Where should we meet, and what should I talk about? You can find more helpful tips and articles on the topic of first dates in our guide.
5 signs that he is NOT interested
When men are not interested, they usually show it more openly than we women do. However, if you are still unsure, pay attention to the following 5 clear signs:
1. He does not maintain eye contact
You're talking to him, but he's not really looking at you? A turned-away posture and little eye contact during the first meeting clearly show you that he's not interested.
2. He'd rather look at his smartphone than at you when he's not interested
If he keeps taking out his smartphone during your meeting to check his messages or text other people, this is a clear sign of disinterest.
3. He asks few questions and interrupts
Pay attention to how he talks to you. Does he talk about himself most of the time, ask few questions, or even interrupt you frequently? If you've never heard him say things like “How are you?” or “How was your day?”, then you should admit to yourself that he's not seriously interested in you.
4. He cancels several times at short notice
You've arranged to meet up and he cancels at the last minute? If it's just the one time, you can overlook it, but if it happens several times, then unfortunately it's a clear sign that he's not interested in you and just doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
5. If he's not interested, he won't get in touch
The first date went really well, but he hasn't been in touch since? Then it's time to take matters into your own hands! Take the initiative and text him.
Many men are often too shy to make the first move after getting to know each other. If he doesn't reply to your message or only replies after a few days, then he doesn't seem to be seriously interested. Are his signals clearly indicating that he's not interested? Then don't let it get you down and stay optimistic. Your dream partner may be much closer than you think. Read our article Getting rejected: Reasons, signs & how to deal with rejection.
Conclusion: in the end, your gut feeling decides
Is he interested? Does he love me? Even if you can read a lot from his signals and behavior, you should never forget one thing in the end: your gut feeling. The same applies: every man is different. Maybe he is wondering whether you are interested in him and is just waiting for a clear signal from you. So if your gut says yes, then be honest and take the first step—show your interest.
