Platonic love—what does it mean and how does it work?
Platonic love—have you ever heard of it? Most people associate the term platonic love with abstinence or the friend zone. But it's much more than that.
Want to know where the term platonic love comes from? What distinguishes it from pure friendship? And whether this type of romantic relationship is right for you? Then read on.
What does platonic love mean?
You've come across the term platonic love many times before, but you've never really understood what it means? No problem, we'll shed some light on the matter.
The word platonic derives from the Greek philosopher Plato and can be translated as “belonging to Plato's philosophy.”
Platonic love refers to romantic relationships without physical intimacy. In short: a relationship without kissing or sex, but with a lot of love.
Does that sound unimaginable to you? For Plato, platonic love was the highest form of interpersonal relationship that we humans can achieve. That is why the term is named after the famous philosopher.
By the way: The term “platonic love” did not exist in Plato's time. It only came into being much later, around the 16th century. Although Plato himself dealt extensively with the subject of love, his writings focused primarily on erotic love.
3 reasons in favor of platonic love
Purely platonic love relationships seem to be rather rare. However, they do occur from time to time. What may seem impossible at first glance also has some advantages. We have summarized the most important reasons in favor of platonic love.
1. Platonic relationships are often more profound
Since platonic love does not focus on the physical level, it is often more profound. Couples are often more deeply connected and also talk to each other more.
2. No arguments in the bedroom
What happens in the bedroom often becomes a source of conflict in a relationship. It is often not easy to reconcile different needs. What is not enough for one person is too much for the other. The end result: neither person feels comfortable and arguments arise. In a platonic relationship, you are spared this.
3. Love happens on many levels
Platonic relationships are not based solely on physical attraction. This allows couples to focus entirely on other things. They get to know and love each other on many other levels that might otherwise never have been discovered.
Platonic love—can it even work?
Now that you know what platonic love is all about, you're probably asking yourself: Can it even work? Opinions on this vary.
What science says
Evolutionary researchers largely agree: a platonic relationship cannot work in the long term. Men in particular are biologically programmed to look for a potential sexual partner for procreation. In their view, every man has at some point imagined something physical with a good friend – even if most would never say so out loud.
3 Typical problems in platonic relationships
Feelings: At some point, one of the two wants more.
More than just platonic: Many people have a purely emotional love relationship as well as a physical one. This leads to jealousy and arguments.
Lack of communication: This means that both people enter the relationship with different expectations. Clarify your feelings and desires in advance to avoid disappointment and hurt feelings.
Friendship vs. platonic love—what's the difference?
Love without physicality—at first glance, it sounds like a good friendship. Not quite. We explain the differences between friendship and platonic love.
Unlike friendship, platonic love involves greater dependence and (non-physical) intimacy. Feelings of loyalty and fidelity are also usually more pronounced in this form of romantic relationship.
Platonic relationships are often compared to a kind of soulmate connection. They are therefore usually much deeper than a friendship. However, the boundaries are fluid. Most platonic romantic relationships begin as a “simple” friendship.
Opponents of platonic love like to equate it with the phenomenon of the “friend zone.” However, while in the “friend zone” one of the two usually wants something physical at some point, a platonic relationship takes place on an equal footing. Both sides agree that they want to have a relationship without physicality.
Conclusion: Platonic love can work, but not for everyone
Before you decide on a platonic relationship, you should be sure that neither of you has feelings for the other anymore. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you call your relationship. Whether you have physical intimacy or not, or perhaps even both. The main thing is that you and your partner feel comfortable with your decision.
