Finding your soulmate: 12 signs of a soulmate
Soulmates—we all dream of finding one. But do they even exist? And if so, how can I recognize my soulmate? Maybe you've already met him or her without realizing it?
What does soulmate mean?
The missing piece of the puzzle that makes you complete. Someone you understand blindly. There are countless descriptions of a soulmate relationship. But what exactly does it mean?
Soulmates are particularly common in romantic relationships. But they can also be friends. Twins, for example, are often referred to as soulmates.
As the name suggests, soulmates describe a deep connection between two souls. Soulmates share the same values and worldview. Unlike “normal friendships,” soulmates often share the same thoughts and emotions.
Meeting such a person can even be a little frightening at first.
Is there such a thing as soulmates? Here's what science says:
According to a Statista study, around 66 percent of women and 55 percent of men are looking for a soulmate. But do they really exist? Or is the search for that one soul with whom you can form such a deep bond futile? Here's what science says:
When we are in love, our bodies produce large amounts of the happiness hormone dopamine. Our hearts beat faster and we feel downright euphoric. The limbic system is running at full speed. In other areas of the brain, such as the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for our rational thinking, less energy is expended.
Hans-Werner Bierhoff, professor of social psychology, found in a study that when we are in love, we often perceive similarities with our partner more strongly than is objectively the case. This creates a feeling of togetherness and connection.
Incidentally, we generally tend to assess people as more similar than they actually are, and not only when we are in love. In social psychology, this is referred to as the “similarity bias” and the “halo effect.”
The similarity bias
The similarity bias affects our subjective perception. We humans often find people who are similar to us more likable. This is because we like to use ourselves as a reference point when judging another person. Due to our often positive self-image, we automatically feel a certain sympathy for people who are similar to us.
The halo effect
The halo effect describes the phenomenon that we humans tend to infer unknown characteristics from known characteristics of a person. “A person who looks good is also likable.” “Someone who appears confident must also be competent.” A single characteristic of a person outshines, and in this case literally overshadows, the perception of the rest of their characteristics.
Finding your soulmate – 12 signs to help you recognize them
At the checkout, in the supermarket, at work, or at the gym: you could bump into your soulmate anywhere. And who knows, maybe you've already met and didn't even realize it? Or perhaps you've just met someone and are wondering: is this my soulmate? You can tell by these 12 signs.
1. Your soulmate throws you off balance
When you meet your soulmate for the first time, it's quite possible that he or she will throw you completely off balance. Many describe it as a moment of confusion and helplessness, but at the same time a feeling of completeness. You have probably never felt anything like this before. It's understandable that such a moment can throw you off track for a moment.
2. You feel a strong attraction
A strong feeling of attraction is also a sign of a soulmate. While you usually enjoy being alone, you feel very strongly attracted to this person and would like to be around them all the time.
3. There is a deep sense of trust
Are you actually a rather reserved person who doesn't confide in others very easily? But with your soulmate, you usually feel a deep sense of trust from the very first encounter. You feel like you can confide all your secrets to them, even though you don't really know anything about them yet. All of this indicates that you have just found your soulmate.
4. The same values and worldview
We all have our own personalities and individual characters. But you share many fundamental characteristics with your soulmate. You often have the same values and norms, as well as the same worldview. The same things are important to you.
5. You complement each other
In the areas where you disagree, you complement each other. It may sound a little corny, but people often refer to a soulmate relationship as the missing piece of the puzzle that completes you. Your characters complement each other almost perfectly. One person's weaknesses are the other's strengths and vice versa. Together, you form a perfect union.
6. There are life events that connect you
Do you have the same birthday? Did both of you lose a parent as a small child? Or do both of you have the same chronic illness? Whether you consider it coincidence or fate, it is not uncommon for soulmates to be connected by such life events.
7. Soulmates feel connected even when they are apart
It is often said that twins can sense when the other is feeling unwell, even when they are not in the same room. This kind of connection can also be observed in many soulmate relationships.
That's why soulmates are also referred to as twin souls. Do you often call each other at the same time or have a sense when the other is feeling down, even without them telling you? These are clear signs that you are soulmates.
8. You understand each other without words
“We just understand each other without words.” You hear this phrase over and over again from people who claim to have found their soulmate. And there is something to it.
9. You can talk or be silent for hours
Everyone knows that uncomfortable silence when neither person knows what to say. That won't happen with your soulmate. You can talk about anything and have endless conversations. But even silence doesn't feel wrong in the presence of your soulmate. It is precisely in moments of silence that you feel the deep connection between you even more strongly.
10. Your relationship feels very easy
A relationship always takes work. It requires compromise and mutual concessions. When you meet your soulmate, none of that seems to apply. There is a certain lightness in the air. There is no jealousy or power games.
11. Nothing is embarrassing
Are you really not embarrassed by anything in front of him/her? Do you feel like you can always be yourself? This is another sign that this person is your soulmate.
12. Your gut feeling
As you now know, the phenomenon of soulmates is difficult to pin down with scientific facts. That's why, at the end of the day, it's always your gut feeling that tells you whether or not you've found your soulmate.
Does it have to be a soulmate?
Finding your soulmate, the person you feel more connected to than anyone else. Most people dream of this. But does it have to be your soulmate for a happy relationship? Or is the search for a soulmate perhaps even harmful to a relationship?
The so-called soulmate trap
Couples therapist and author Christian Thiel even considers the belief in a soulmate to be dangerous. Because anyone who believes that there is only one perfect person for them will naturally be devastated if the relationship with that person ultimately fails.
Behavioral scientist Vanessa Van Edwards refers to this as the so-called soulmate trap. People who are searching for the perfect partner in their lives may despair in this search. At first, the new partner seems perfect through rose-colored glasses, but once the initial magic has worn off, the relationship is quickly over. In their search for their soulmate, they often don't allow themselves to get to know the other person properly. Because they back out at the first sign of disagreement.
Soulmates can also be enriching
Believing in soulmates can therefore harm a relationship, but it doesn't have to. On the contrary, it can also bring many benefits. People who believe in soulmates tend to be faithful and feel comfortable in long-term relationships. They are more likely to have a relationship of equals in which each person enriches the other.
In addition to the scientific facts, the topic of soulmates also has a lot to do with whether we believe in them or not. At the end of the day, it is up to you whether believing in soulmates burdens or enriches your relationship.
