Parallel dating: advantages and disadvantages + 6 tips for fair treatment

With so many interesting partner suggestions, online dating often means that there is more than one person you want to get to know better—this is where parallel dating comes into play. Some people want to explore all their options, while others prefer to focus entirely on one contact. This raises the question: is it acceptable to date several people at the same time? What is permissible, and what should I do if my potential partner is also dating other people?

Parallel dating: 6 things to keep in mind

Parallel dating is a topic that many people disagree on. For some people, it's normal to focus on just one person at a time. Others, on the other hand, want to seize every opportunity and have several contacts and dates at the same time. 36% of men and 39% of women say they have dated multiple people at the same time.

1. Be open and honest

Dating habits should not be a taboo topic of conversation. It is even better to be open and honest and to address the topic of parallel dating from the outset. However, it is rather inappropriate to exploit other encounters during your current date.

2. Honesty is the best policy

Honesty is essential, especially after several dates. If you are genuinely interested, it is time to consider making the dates exclusive. If there is still no spark after several meetings, it is time to be honest about it—it is unfair to keep someone else “warm” and give them false hope.

Especially in times of online dating, parallel dating is quite normal. So it's perfectly legitimate to find out if the chemistry is right before limiting the getting-to-know-you process to one person.

3. Fair rules in the getting-to-know-you phase

Freedom to date applies to everyone up to a certain point. This point is reached when you and your counterpart come to a different agreement. This agreement is the clearly communicated beginning of a partnership or the start of one. Open communication is crucial here for treating each other with respect. Clear words are the best way to prevent emotionally stressful misunderstandings.

4. Meaning and sensuality: don't confuse the two!

You can indulge in superficial interest in a person if both parties are interested. Before you indulge in selfish interests in your fellow human beings, make it clear to your counterpart what kind of contact you want. Accept it if your counterpart has different ideas and wishes. There are certainly other interesting contacts who would like to meet up with you.

5. Give yourself time

Don't forget: Euphoria is not as contagious as the flu. Sometimes euphoria only breaks out in one of two people. That happens. Feelings develop individually and in very different ways. Until you talk about feelings or promises, give your potential partners and yourself the opportunity to clarify your own impressions and emotions.

6. Seize your opportunities

Understandably, you want to enter into a long-term, successful relationship. To this end, it can be advantageous to meet several people and weigh up who is particularly well suited to you. Online dating is the ideal basis for this.

The advantages and disadvantages of parallel dating

Depending on what kind of dater you are, parallel dating can have many advantages, but also some disadvantages.

The advantages of parallel dating

Through online contact alone, you can meet many interesting people who are worth getting to know.

Especially in the early stages, it can be worthwhile to put out feelers and not just focus on one person. This may also help you figure out who is really right for you, as you can compare them directly. However, the same rule still applies here: be honest and be open about your parallel dating!

3 disadvantages of parallel dating

If you are a more emotional type and quickly fall in love, parallel dating could be rather disappointing for you. If you have several contacts yourself, you should be careful not to end up falling in love with more than one person.

In addition, parallel dating can also leave a bad impression on your dates. Not everyone likes the feeling of being one of many. Ultimately, the same rule always applies to dates: quality over quantity. If you jump from date to date in order to meet as many potential partners as possible, you will quickly find that you are no longer able to really engage with any one person.

Is he dating someone else? Here's how to deal with it

1. Free yourself from unrealistic expectations

You should not have any expectations of your date, especially if you are just starting to date. Assuming that your date is also seeing other potential partners before and after your first date will prevent you from developing unrealistic expectations.

2. Let getting to know each other happen naturally

Don't limit your options when looking for a partner without good reason: as long as you haven't discussed any binding interest in developing common goals, keep your personal expectations in check. Remember: a relaxed approach has more potential during the getting-to-know-you phase than demands for confirmation.

3. Show interest—in moderation

Protect yourself and your counterpart from disappointment by expressing your emotions and desires in moderation. Until your counterpart also signals a willingness to intensify contact, you should avoid demanding language or sending countless unsolicited photos or tons of messages. A very controlling manner also tends to be off-putting to most people.

4. Pressure is not a means of getting to know each other

Give your potential partners and yourself time to reflect on your meetings and decide whether there is a next level. Before you overwhelm potential partners online with requests or suggestions for further meetings and joint activities, give your counterpart the chance to respond and also make suggestions themselves.

5. Withdrawal is permitted

Everyone must be allowed to withdraw from the process of getting to know someone. Try not to take the behavior of those around you too personally in the initial phase. There can be many different reasons for someone withdrawing. Perhaps you are simply not compatible. Don't be discouraged: remind yourself of your positive qualities and look forward to meeting someone who is worthy of experiencing you at your best.

Conclusion: Honesty is key when it comes to parallel dating

Parallel dating is completely accepted in the modern dating process. Just be fair and honest to save yourself and others a waste of time. If one of you is more emotionally involved than the other, discuss this before unnecessary hurt feelings arise. Always be fair to your contacts when parallel dating. Then nothing will stand in the way of an exciting dating phase.